Mahal,
How is it that I can't forget you
but I can't remember you either
Ever since I left, a part of me was put on hold—
like a construction site that won't ever be completed
again
The workers never left, just stopped giving presence.
I guess the supervisor gave up giving signs,
telling directions similar to a youtube tutorial on a 123456789 hour loop
again and again
Baby I'm the construction site
and I'm that damn supervisor
I know that the old you
will never come back
and I should do the same too
..
I remember telling them that I liked how we grew ourselves together,
you discovered parts of you that I was the only one to bring out
and you
made me discover parts of me I've long forgotten
was I the only one ever thinking that?
for you, I loved myself.
because I swore to love everything you do
I know you still love me,
and you forever will—
but why is it so hard for you to change for the person you love?
Love isn't the only thing I need.
Come on, A. Jay
We aren't some forbidden-love themed movie,
just some superficial poem I dreamed us becoming—
but some parts were true..
and sometimes, that "some" are all that matters
but it can't be anything more than "some" in time
You lacked effort
You lacked commitment
If I'm pretty enough, I wouldn't need to beg for those
the night I told you what I felt
the night I told you "you grew cold"
the night I told you I wanted to end this
and that I shouldn't fall in love with the past
I begged myself not to take back everything I said and simply whisper, "it's nothing"
....
Hey, A. Jay
Beg for me
Beg for me to come back
Beg for me to say I didn't mean all that
I guess your love really is not the same as mine
Were you even bothered when I stopped calling you my love?
Did you even realize when i started calling you by your first name?
Maybe you really didn't care as much.
You have a talent for word-play,
and you took me for granted
....
A. Jay, no matter what I do
I still miss you
and it hurts so good
You know this part of me so damn well
like it's the only thing I ever showed you—
because it's the only thing you can ever love me for
YOU ARE READING
Dazed Off
Poetry𝑰 𝒂𝒄𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒎𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔, 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒐𝒄𝒆𝒂𝒏 𝒘𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒔 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒆𝒎𝒊𝒕; 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒍𝒖𝒍𝒍𝒂𝒃𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒊𝒎𝒑𝒍𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒊𝒎𝒑𝒍𝒚... 𝒅𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕. A collection of poems...
