Dazed Off

give up

The first step
is the hardest
especially when
you're already too bruised up-
when you're bones are
bound to break,
the mind makes more mistakes,
and the heart hurts like home hiccups.

I've chased you,
I've chased my future,
I've chased progress,
and;
I broke my ankles every time.
You told me to crawl,
and so my knees bled blue.
You told me to roll,
and so my body dislocated itself.

I'm already unstable to begin with,
and this contradicting battlefield
isn't helping at all

So let me stop trying,
stop stepping
in a shitty staircase.
As it just results a life threatening downfall,
a rushed farewell.
Stare at my case,
investigate my desperation.
I'm in despair of rational satisfaction.

Dear past me,
I don't want to struggle to be better anymore;
life doesn't get any better than this anyway.