Dazed Off

selfishness has its own karma

the sound of the raindrops falling on the rooftop like a riffle or a SMG gun attacking me while the wind freezes me to death; climbing it's way through the window, through my skin that is slowly turning blue even if i guard myself with a bunch of thick blankets— trying so hard to erase the fact that i am alone; got no one to hug to or hold hands with. pillows surrounding me, soaked with cries, with tears, with salivas that spells "where are you?!" everytime i scream. my mind full of doubt,self hatred, and regret, almost as if i am being tortured by my own brain. voices speaking all at ones, i am trying to hear- to understand what they are saying— "sorry, can you say that one more time?"

"she left u because u cling too much and became a burden, you're aware of it, aren't you?"

"N-no she's my hero, my saviour,my human diary, she isn't like them-"

"even though u knew how she felt- you knew she didn't want you anymore, you still stayed, didn't you?" a killer smile killing me with painful truths i never wanted to admit. "just because you didn't want to be alone again, you selfishly ignored her feelings, right?"

i.. never wanted to feel that unbearable loneliness— emptiness ever again. but here i am. hearing the sound of the raindrops falling on the rooftop like a riffle or a SMG gun attacking me while being killed with my own mind.