Daddy Issues

22 - Not okay

TW: Mentions of sexual harassment

'Emma, I've been looking everywhere for you,' Dan tells me.

I can't believe he's here. How can he be here? I try my hardest to focus and wonder if it's even real. But when I reach out to touch his face, I can feel him underneath my fingers.

'You're here,' I say quietly, in total disbelief.

'Yes,' he says, taking a hold of my hand that I'm trailing mindlessly over his face.

'You're cold,' he says. 'Emma, are you okay? Are you hurt?'

'I'm lost,' I tell him. It's a little hard to speak, because my body is still heaving from crying. I can't stop it. 'I wanted to call you. But I lost my phone.'

'I know,' he says quickly. 'I've got it. Emma, are you hurt?' he asks again. 'Did Keith hurt you?'

I try to focus on his eyes. He looks so worried. And I feel so guilty. I broke his trust. When I think about that, I start crying even harder.

'Dan, I'm so sorry,' I tell him. 'I broke the rules. And I took your money. I'll give it back to you.'

I pat at my jeans with my free hand, looking for my wallet, but Dan stops me by taking that hand too. Holding my hands, he moves to catch my eye and looks at me intently.

'That's not important right now. Please, just tell me, did Keith hurt you?'

I didn't like that he touched me. Or that he kissed me. But he didn't hurt me. Not yet, anyway.

So I shake my head. And a look of relief washes over Dan. I wonder again how he got here.

'Why were you at his place?' he asks me. 'Yuki said he was supposed to take you home. Why didn't you come home?'

'He said we should go to his place,' I say softly. I feel stupid. I never should have gotten in the car with him. I don't want to tell Dan. I don't want him to think I'm stupid.

'He said he'd give me water,' I mumble.

'Okay,' he says. He seems a little breathless. On edge. Like he can barely keep himself together.

'But you ran away. Why did you run away? What did he do?'

'Nothing,' I shrug. I look away from Dan. I don't want to talk about it. I don't want him to tell me that I shouldn't have been so stupid.

'No, don't give me that, Emma,' he says, trying to meet my eye again. 'Please tell me. If he did anything to you, we're going to the police.'

'No! I- It's my fault. I must have led him on. But I didn't want to sleep there. I asked him to take me home. He said he would, but then he wouldn't.'

'He asked you to sleep with him?' Dan asks, breathing deeply.

'He said I could sleep there. So you wouldn't know that I left. He said you'd be mad at me.'

'Fuck!'

I wince when he curses loudly. Of course he's mad. He has every right to be mad. But I don't want him to be.

'I'm so sorry, Dan,' I say. I take some shaky breaths between all the tears. 'Please don't be mad. I'm so sorry.'

'I'm not mad,' he says quickly. 'I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at Keith.'

'I shouldn't have gone home with him,' I mumble.

'He should have just taken you home, Emma.' Dan lets go of my hand and moves closer. He moves his hand over my cheek, brushes some of the tears away. But then he seems to think better of it and moves back again.