Daddy Issues

67 - Open Day

Things have been a little weird between Dan and me since New Year's. Of course, we said we wouldn't make it weird, but that glorious kiss hangs between us now. It creeps into our minds with every careless touch, every laugh, every eyecontact that lingers just a little too long. It does for me, at least. And though Dan hasn't said anything, I think it's the same for him.

So I'm a little bit nervous as I wait for him to pick me up this morning. But I'm also intent on using this time with him to get things back to normal. It's the perfect opportunity. Because, very kindly, Dan has offered to drive me to the Open Day that I wanted to attend to find out more about medical engineering. The Uni is a 3 hour drive away, so it's not exactly around the corner. We'll have lots of time to get comfortable around each other again.

It's early, so I'm yawning while I wait for him on the corner of the street. We agreed to meet there because obviously, I didn't want Mom to see Dan's car pull up to the house.

After her reaction during Christmas dinner, I didn't dare to ask her if I could borrow her car anymore. Which kind of was my original plan. So I was so happy when Dan offered to give up his Saturday to take me there when I told him about how I wanted to go. If Mom had asked me about it, I would have lied and told her I was going to Mel. But she never did, not even when I walked out of the house at 7.30 this morning, which is very unusual for me. I assume she thinks I'm just headed to work for an early shift or something.

I'm glad to see Dan's car appear from around the corner, because it is freezing. Despite my scarf, gloves and thick, long coat, I am eager to get into the comforting warmth of his car.

'Morning,' I say as I hurry inside. I sigh contendly when I close the door quickly when I've sat down.

'Morning,' he says, smiling at me. 'So, you actually managed to get out of bed on time?'

'Of course I did! Oh, look.'

I show him the contents of the bag I've brought with me. It's full of food and drinks for the road. It's about enough for us to drive halfway across the country, which is probably why Dan chuckles when he takes it in.

'Road trip snacks,' I tell him. 'I got all your favourites. Even those disgusting mint Oreo's.'

'You didn't have to get all that.'

'No, I did,' I say, tossing the bag onto the back seat. 'I'm so thankful for this, Dan, I don't know how I would have gotten there without you. So everything's on me today, okay? Coffee, lunch, dinner, whatever.'

'That's good to know. I'll figure out the fanciest roadway restaurant while I wait for you.'

Initially, I told Dan he was crazy. What was he going to do while I go to the Open Day? It's not like he's interested in medical engineering. But he said he'd just entertain himself. Discover the area, have some lunch, go on some walks until I'm done with the program.

'Good idea,' I say, typing in the address to his gps.

We're good to go. Dan starts the car and then we're off on our journey. I take a closer look at him when he's focused on the road. He looks a little tired, but handsome as always. I never dare to look at him for too long these days, or make too much eye contact, because it takes me right back to that kiss and then I can't focus on anything.

I wish I could talk to somebody about all this. But we agreed to keep it a secret, so we could just keep going as usual. It's harder than I thought it would be, though. The way he kissed me told me he wants me just as much as I want him. You can't fake that kind of passion. Our friendship means so much to me, but sometimes I just want to grab him and shake him and beg him to just give in, because it's so obvious that we're supposed to be more. I don't do that, of course. Lately, I do have a certain level of self-respect to maintain.