Daddy Issues

60 - Whatever

I left Dan's party with his book hidden under my coat, slightly tipsy but having done nothing I shouldn't have, and with an invitation to Pete and Avery's New Year's Party.

It was a lot of fun. Dan avoided me a little after our slightly charged conversation in the kitchen, but he dared to speak to me again after a few more sodas. And I enjoyed myself with everyone else too. Even Yuki.

But that's a couple of days ago now. It's the day before Christmas. Dan has left for his parents and I spent a big part of the day doing groceries for tomorrow. Mom even got a ride with a colleague so I could use her car for it. She also gave me the money to get everything.

I had a mental breakdown about 10 minutes into the store, though. Mel kind of laughed at me when I called her in a panic about how crazy busy it was. She told me no sane person waits until the day before to their Christmas shopping. Well, how was I supposed to know that? I'd never done it before.

By the time I'd returned home and put everything away, I was exhausted. So I sank down on the couch with Dan's book.

It's the best book I've ever read. Okay, they may not mean that much since I haven't read that many books. And I guess I may be a little biased. But still, I'm sure everyone will love this.

The main character Mya is a freaking badass. Powerful, witty and no tolerance for bullshit. He created this incredible fantasty world that I wish I could visit myself. There's action, romance and heart-wrenching disaster. I've already cried twice and I'm only halfway through.

I'm just about to start a new chapter when my phone rings. It's Mom. I raise my eyebrow when I look at the screen, because she doesn't usually call. Or only when I've messed something up. But things have actually been kind of okay since we agreed to spend tonight together. So I try not to be anxious when I pick up.

'Hi.'

'Hey, Emma. Did you manage to get all those groceries?'

'Yes,' I tell her. Is she just checking in? That isn't exactly like her.

'It was crazy busy, though. Remind me to never go into a store again on the day before Christmas.'

Mom chuckles shortly.

'Thanks for braving the crowds for us.'

'Sure.'

We're making small talk? We never make small talk. And now she's staying silent. It's almost like she's lingering. Holding out on telling me whatever she wants to tell me.

'So about tonight,' she says finally.

'Yes?' I ask curiously.

'Roger has organized a surprise dinner for me.'

'Oh.'

A sinking feeling settles in my stomach.

'I know we were supposed to have dinner together, but we can always do it another time right?'

Stupid. So stupid to actually look forward to tonight a little. Even though I was nervous about it, I really thought it might be something good. I was going to be nice to her. And I appreciated her coming up with the idea. I should have known she'd find a way to get out of it.

I don't answer. I just slide back on the couch, close my eyes and pinch my nose. It's fine. It probably would have been awkward anyway. I'll have more fun on my own.

'Emma? I'm sorry, okay? It's just, he put in a lot of effort. If I had known he was going to do it, I would have told him I already had plans.'

'Okay, sure,' I say, feeling suddenly drained. 'It's fine.'