Daddy Issues

64 - Worried

Dan asked me if I wanted to meet up the day after Christmas and I was dying to see him, so I go over to his apartment after dinner.

As soon as he opens the door, I let myself fall into his arms for a hug. I know I'm supposed to keep a little distance, but honestly, I just need it after the last two days.

'Hey,' Dan laughs, holding me more tightly after he's recovered from the surprise of it. 'You alright?'

'Yes,' I mumble into his shoulder. 'I'm just glad to see you.'

'Alright,' he says, still sounding a little confused. 'Glad to see you too.'

I could hold onto him much longer, but I don't want to make things weird, so I let go and move into his living room to sink down on the couch.

'How was the drive home?' I ask him while he grabs me a drink. 'Aren't you tired?'

He told me that his parents don't exactly live closeby. It took a 5-hour drive to get there.

'It was alright,' he tells me from the kitchen. 'Traffic was fine. But I am a little tired, yes, so don't be too hard on me tonight, okay?'

I smile as he moves over, holding two glasses of soda.

'I'll try.'

Dan laughs and hands me my drink, then he sits down on the couch beside me.

'So how was your Christmas?' he asks me. 'Did everyone like the food you made? And how was Christmas Eve with Lainey?'

'Yeah, it was alright,' I tell him. Before I got here, I already decided I wasn't going to tell him about all of the drama. I've already sucked him into so much of it. I'm not even sure I'll tell Mel about it either. They were both so proud of me for making an effort. I don't want them to know I fucked it all up.

'They loved the food,' I say, deciding that the best way to get away with it is just to focus on the positive things that happened.

'Aileen helped out a little, it was pretty fun to cook together. And uncle Bob was super impressed with everything. He told me like a 100 times.'

'And your mom?'

I shrug.

'She said it wasn't bad.'

Dan scoffs, clearly offended on my account. But he doesn't say anything about it.

'Well, I knew you could do it. Cheers to you.'

I laugh when he clinks his glass to mine. Dork.

'So what about Christmas Eve, what was that like?'

'Oh, yeah, it was fine.'

I force myself to keep looking at him, though I really want to look away. But he'll know I'm lying if I do.

'We ordered Thai food. And we watched The Holiday, it was fun.'

'No fighting?' Dan asks, impressed. Or in disbelief? I probably should add just a little conflict to make it seem believable.

'Well, you know, it didn't all go smoothly, but all in all, it was fine.'

'I'm so glad to hear that.'

He smiles at me so warmly, I'm even more glad that I didn't tell him what really happened. Now, he gets to be happy for me. And that makes him happy, because he's sweet and caring and he doesn't like to see me upset. And seeing him happy, makes me happy. So everyone's happy.

'I think it's very impressive that you're making an effort, after everything she's-'

He catches himself and looks at me shortly. I know he has some strong feelings about her, but maybe he didn't feel like he should be expressing them to me. We usually avoid the topic of my mother as much as possible.