Fifty One - Calisto

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I smile down at the photo and video recordings of the little baby ultrasound - my baby - which was in it's own album on my phone

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I smile down at the photo and video recordings of the little baby ultrasound - my baby - which was in it's own album on my phone. We still hadn't decided on a name, but we had time. It's forty something weeks to have a baby and we're only fourteen weeks in. Still under halfway, but it's getting harder to hide. And with the warmer weather on its way, oversized hoodies won't cut it pretty soon.

"Calisto, pay attention. Or that phone goes in the trash" coach commanded, and I tore my eyes away from the screen to apologise and put my phone in my bag. It had been almost a month since my call with my sister and her new boyfriend, she's been trying to convince me to tell my ma's at least. We had another ultrasound tomorrow, so would tell them after that one...

And I think we should, I mean Aly is really starting to show. We've been taking week by week photos since we found out, just to document it all. And her symptoms aren't going away. I have to tell my parents at some point, and hers. Luckily due to her parents work, they're not home that often. But they are home often enough that they're getting suspicious and have been pestering her about going to the doctor and not missing as much school.

I always bring her schoolwork and we do it together, so she doesn't feel as behind...well we do what we can. Shes a hell of a lot smarter than I am.

I feel so guilty. I did this to her, and now she's suffering the consequences of my actions. She always dreamed of being a successful lawyer, she had a ten year plan and everything. And I threw that down the drain, she wants to take a year long gap to recover and raise the little one. Whilst I'm out achieving my dream, she's going to be sacrificing hers. Maybe I should give up the NHL and raise our baby, let Aly make it in law school...

"Calisto! Pay attention. You can't afford to be away with the fairies on the ice. It's your draft year. They're watching you." Coach scolds me again. As if I needed reminding...

"Sorry Coach..."

He goes through the game plan, making sure we understand it and are all on the same page. He's a good coach, a great one, which is why I appreciate and look up to him like a father figure...

Maybe I can speak to him about this all?

Don't get me wrong, I'm insanely excited and happy. But I'm also terrified. What if I'm not good enough? I could talk to Coach, he has kids, so he'll know a little about them...maybe he'll know?

"Coach, can we talk after the game today?" I question, not letting myself fester on it for too long. Asking him now means I'm not worrying about it on the ice.

"Of course, come and see me in my office"

I make sure my skates are on correctly before heading out onto the ice with my team. It's a home game, which meant Aly might be in the stands. I buzzed with hints of excitement before skating around and warming up a little, I kept my eyes peeled for Aly in the audience. Stopping at the boards In front of her usual seat once I picked her out, I smiled when I noticed my sister, her boyfriend, and my brothers were all here. As well as my mama's, Alys parents were there too.

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