The song that changed my heart

Gay Panic

Rody groaned as he nuzzled his head into the pillows. Pulling a warmth closer to his chest. He wasn't even fully awake and his head felt like it was pounding. How much did he have to drink last night? His mind was fuzzy as memories were starting to flood back into his mind. Vincent on top of him. Pressing his lips into his. Rody's eyes snapped open as sweat began to run down his forehead. His eyes looked down to see Vincent nuzzled against him. Rody wasn't sure if he felt warm from nerves, or from being flustered. Both had their arms wrapped around each other, and their legs were practically tangled in one another. Rody carefully removed himself from Vincent's grasp. He did not want Vincent to wake up a second time with him having cuddled him. The sun was already starting to shine. Reflecting onto the nearly empty wine bottle, and two empty glasses. Rody felt his heart pounding in his chest as he got up. He moved as quickly and as quietly as he could until he reached the bathroom. He flicked on the lights and shut the door behind him before quickly rushing over to the sink. He put it on full blast before splashing some water on his face. He felt confused. He had enjoyed every second of it last night, and yet somehow still felt disgusted with himself. "I Love you too." He brought a hand to his lips. Vincent had said those words. He wished he could take it back, and yet at the same time, he had no regrets. Rody sighed as he walked over to the toilet. He needed to take a piss. He pulled down the sweats and boxers and made an aim for the bowl. He looked up at the wall. Once again thinking back to last night. Was Vincent going to remember? Rody hoped not. He knew Vincent was light weight, but was three glasses really going to be enough for him to black out? Rody had downed at least eight glasses, and was only tipsy. He grabbed some toilet paper and whipped before flushing. He walked back over to the sink and washed his hands. A knock came at the door. Rody tensed up. "Come in." He said a bit breathy. As he looked over to see Vincent walk in. He walked over and grabbed a toothbrush and toothpaste. He didn't seem to acknowledge Rody. A tension filled the room. A tension Rody hated. "So do you remember if we did anything last night?" Rody asked as Vincnet brought the toothbrush up to his mouth. "No." He replied as he looked over at Rody. He kept his best poker face, and nodded. "Okay just double checking everything is a bit fuzzy." Rody lied. Vincent just nodded before spitting into the sink while turning the water. "I'm going to start on breakfast. If you want to take a shower first you can." Vincent replied as he left the room.

Vincent covered his mouth with his hand. A strong blush covered his cheeks. Rody may have put on a good poker face, but his tone did not hide that fact that he knew. Vincent knows he remembered. He walked to the kitchen. Digging around in his pants pockets before locating his box of cigarettes and his lighter. He pulled out a cigarette, lit it, and placed it in his mouth. Inhaling it provided him relief as he moved around the kitchen rapidly grabbing different utensils and ingredients for pancakes. He removed his cigarette and exhaled the smoke. He felt like he screwed up. Rody seemed so desperate to forget that they kissed. Yet last night he seemed to enjoy it. He placed the cigarette back in his mouth as he began to pour ingredients into the bowl. He needed some way to distract himself and Rody today. He had laundry that needed to be done. Perhaps he should take Rody back to his apartment to get some of his stuff while he stays with Vincent. Not to mention the clothing he likely hadn't washed. Vincent took another exhale of smoke. He knew he had to lie for Rody's sake, but part of him wished he didn't. He wanted Rody to know what he meant was true, yet it might frighten Rody away. Rody was too important in his life to be scared away. Vincent flipped some of the pancakes over. Leaving their tops with a lovely brown. As Vincent was transferring them to a plate he heard a clattering sound coming from the hallway. Vincent sighed and shook his head as he put the cigarette out on the apron he forgot to take off. He knocked on the door. "Rody, are you alright?" Vincent asked. "I'm Fine, I just..." Without a second thought Vincent opened the door. Several things from his first aid kit had been scattered on the floor. Rody had his bandages torn off. Revealing the patches of red skin from where he was burnt. Some bandages remained around him though they were rapidly coming undone. Vincent groaned as he brought a hand to his head. His headache still present was made worse. "You pick the things up and place them on the counter." Vincent said as he got to organizing what Rody had just thrown in. Rody didn't say anything he just did as he was told. Placing everything on the counter while Vincent placed everything back in its proper place. Before turning his attention to Rody and bandaging him up. "You know you could've called me in if you needed me to bandage you." Vincent said as he began wrapping them up. Rody sighed. "Yeah I know. I just figured you were busy making breakfast." Rody said as Vincent taped the bandages. "Breakfast is ready. While you eat I am going to take a shower." Vincent said before leaving the room. Maybe it was for the best that Vincent didn't have Rody as his boyfriend. He would probably get himself into more harm with his clumsiness. Then again Rody had brought a smile to Vincent's face that he lacked. Vincent sighed as he walked into his room. He hoped something would work out from this.