The song that changed my heart

Dancing Around the Issue

The guitar case was pressed against Rody's body as Vincent drove down the residential road to Mathew's house. Rody's foot tapped rapidly against the car floor. Thankfully quiet enough so Vincent didn't hear him. His mind trailed back to the laundromat. When he returned with a bag of trail mix Vincent had rolled his eyes as Rody munched away. His heart had been pounding. "Not communicating is not going to get you anywhere." Rody could've pushed and dug for anything. Yet there was nothing. Nothing he could say to break the ice. He wanted to talk to Vincent about it, and he still did, but he just couldn't. The laundromat felt too busy. Too risky. Even with it being half empty it still felt like it wasn't worth it. Almost as soon as they returned to Vincent's apartment he started on lunch. Rody couldn't bring himself to interrupt him. So he had grabbed his notepad, and guitar and just practiced them. Humming the lyrics he had written. Perhaps singing them outloud would have started the conversation they needed to have. Yet he didn't. He had all the time in between, and yet once again he couldn't bring himself to tell Vincent. To have the conversation they needed to have. So now here he was. Body pressed against the opposite door as he was leaving Vincent alone for several hours. A conversation the two needed to happen wouldn't happen for another long while. "Just up here." Rody said as he pointed to the house where several cars lined outside and a clear light on the garage. Vincent pulled up to the house behind Jame's car. Rody left the vehicle. "Bye Vince. I'll call you if I need a ride, or am heading home." Rody said as he grabbed his guitar. "Bye... Rody?" Rody paused as he looked back. "Have a good practice." Vincent said with a small smile. It felt a lot like the smile he would put on for customers. Rody wanted to ask further but then again he didn't want to delay his practice. He would ask Vincent later. Though at this point later may as well turn into never. Rody walked up to the house as Vincent drove away. "Finally got enough money for a taxi?" Andrew teased. "No, that's the coworker I'm staying with." Rody replied as he sat down on the stool he had sat on last time. "Isn't that Vincent?" Dolly asked as she looked over at Rody. he gave her a smile and a nod. "Yeah he's been helping with treating the burns." Rody replied as a small blush crept onto his face. Though he caught Dolly and Andrew looking over at each other and then back at him. He thought it was odd, but neither of them said anything else so neither did he. "I should be able to give you a ride back." Leo said as he took a seat at his stool. Rody gave a smile and nodded as everyone looked back at Dolly. She gave a smile and nodded as she let out one note.

A ring of smoke puffed from his mouth and floated up into the air. Vincent leaned back against the window as he placed his cigarette back in his mouth. He had known Rody knew about last night. He had all day to talk to him about it. All day to confront each other, and yet neither of them did. He could tell something about it was bothering Rody. He was an easy person to tell what he was feeling. Which let Vincent have an easier way to tell what Rody was thinking. Rody seems embarrassed by it. Wishing to forget that they even kissed. Then why did he say "I love you."? Why drop that if it meant nothing? Vincent took another huff of smoke . He was going to drive himself insane if he continued to think about it. Yet it was all that was swimming in his mind. Leaving him wishing he had said something earlier. He was just waiting for Rody to ask about it for the rest of the day. Especially since he returned to the laundromat after getting a snack. Vincent groaned as he used a hand to grab his hair and claw it back in a sad attempt to let out some of his frustration. He extinguished his cigarette against the metal bars making the balcony for his apartment. He climbed back inside. Shutting the window and walking into the living room. He placed his cigarette into the ashtray of the coffee table before turning his attention to his cello. Practicing helped him calm down. It seemed music just had the ability to do that. A way to express his feelings in ways he struggled to show elsewhere.

A sharp string strung through the room. Causing everybody to stop. Rody gave a sheepish smile. As Andrew let out a sigh of frustration. Rody felt he was about to shout at "Let's take a break." Dolly suggested as she made her hand in the motion for her crutches. Leo rushed over and grabbed them before rushing back over with James to help Dolly off of her stoll. Rody rushed inside alongside Mathew, Making a beeline to the bathroom. He turned the sink on full blast before splashing water on his face. His mind is still swimming with Vincent. The cold persona he had slipped when he dropped him off. He wanted to talk to him about something. Was it what happened the night before? He could feel his heart begin to pound. His breathing started to accelerate. "Shit." He whispered to himself. It was starting to happen again. He looked back at the door. Then looked back at the sink. He couldn't leave to call Vincent. His bandmates would think he was out of his mind. They may even try to call the asylum. He couldn't risk it. He once again placed his hands under the water as he closed his eyes. "Breathe." Rody whispered to himself as he took a deep breath in. He held it and counted to six by bringing his hands down and taping his finger against the sink six times. Before exhaling and counting to eight by doing the same finger taping mechanism. Repeating until he felt relaxed. Before being spooked by a knock on the door. "Are you okay in there Rody?" Mathew asked from the otherside. "Yeah. Sorry I took so long." Rody said as he turned the sink off and began to dry off his hands. He had them under the water for so long that they started to wrinkle. He opened the door to see Mathew standing on the other end very concerned. "Are you alright?" Mathew asked as Rody quickly nodded. "Yeah don't worry about it." Rody replied as he walked into the kitchen. Leo had brought out glasses of water for everybody. Dolly and James sat at the table. Leo remained standing up with a glass pitcher in hand, and Andrew leaned against the counter looking genuinely annoyed. Rody couldn't help but feel guilty. He hadn't been paying as much attention as he should've been during their practice time. Especially since he missed one he hadn't really been aware of. He felt everyone's eyes on him as he took a seat. He was offered a glass of water and took it quickly. Gulping it down in seconds. "Rody, are you sure you are alright?" Leo asked as he refiled the glass. "I'm sure..." "Cut the act." Andrews said sternly. "Something has been on your mind lately, and it's showing. So quit trying to pretend like everything is alright?" Andy shouted as Rody sighed and looked down. "This doesn't have anything to do with Manon doesn't it?" Dolly asked. Rody quickly shook his head. "No, me and Manon are fine. It's just..." Rody couldn't tell them. They would all judge him when they heard about him and Vincent. Yet at the same time he wanted to tell them. They wouldn't stop, and unlike Vincent who could ignore them his bandmates wouldn't. Rody sighed as he laid a head on his hand. "I did something while drunk, and I'm not sure how to explain it to the other person." Rody explained. Though with the lack of details naturally some of his other friends began to ask questions. "What did you do?" Andrew asked. "Why were you drunk when you have bad burns?" Mathew asked. "Who was the other person?" Dolly asked. "Everybody, relax." James called everybody's attention. "Rody's entrusted us enough to that he had a small fuck up while drunk. If he doesn't want to share anything more than that he shouldn't have to." James looked at Rody. "Are you still in contact with this other person?" James asked. Rody nodded. "I think you two need to talk it out then. You can explain the situation. I'm sure if the other person even remembers and still is keeping in contact with you then they should be reasonable." James said. Most of Rody's friends nodded in agreement. Rody could feel a sinking feeling brewing in his gut. Manon had given him the same advice, and he had to fail to follow exactly that. This time he would. This time he would talk to Vincent.