*A Nobody* *n.h.* -Finished-

You're Too Beautiful To Do That

-Normal

I walked into my room and shut the door behind me. I through my bag on the chair and lay down on the bed. I stared at the ceiling for a minute before I heard the door open. My head turned to see Jake walk in with a sad face. I looked at the writing on my wall and wished it would come true. I need someone to just be there for me.

Jake came and laid down beside me. His sigh made me look at him. Before he started I took in everything that has happened these last few days. I met a famous boy band and kind of like one member but I know he would never try to go for someone like me. I’m not skinny or pretty. I’m a plain girl with internal problems that will take years for someone to fix.

“Natalie, you know how mom and dad are always being mean to you?” I grimaced and nodded my head shyly but in the back of my mind did I really want to know? They literally hate me and never pay attention to anything I have ever done.

“I will only tell you if you promise not to flip out.” He said. I bit my lip, is it really that horrible? I slightly nodded my head but wasn’t really promising anything.

“I called mom earlier and asked her to tell me the truth about why she has been so distant with you and well I know but I really am disgusted by it because that’s just wrong to go about it.” He shuddered and continued. “She said that whenever she was pregnant she went through the whole pregnancy thinking it was a boy and that there was only one of us in there. The doctors didn’t see that there were two. Whenever mom gave birth they were expecting a boy to come out but you came out first and they were disappointed. Mom knew nothing about raising a girl she always wanted a boy. Then the doctor said there was another baby she was hopeful that she got her wish, and she did in the end. They never wanted a girl at all but they couldn’t give you up for adoption because that would make them look like bad parents, even though they really are.” He whispered.

I looked at him and prayed everything I just heard was wrong. They treat me like shit because I’m a girl and they never knew how to raise one. Why didn’t they just give me up for adoption that would be so much better than this hell?

Thinking out of instinct I jumped out of my bed and grabbed my bag. My legs ran into the bathroom against my brother’s protest.  My note pad was ruined so I had to resort to my razor. I locked the door and dug around in my bag until I found it.  My hand brought it up to my face letting me graze across the top of it. My eyes widened as the familiar sensation came to my stomach, urging me to bring it across my delicate skin.

I ignored everything around me; the boys screaming at me.  I brought the blade to the top of my skin. All I had to do was press down and that’s exactly what I did. I pressed it down and felt the blood well up around the new cut. The stinging sensation came back and I sighed in relief. I went to make another cut when I heard that beautiful Irish voice stop me.

“Don’t do that, you’re too beautiful to do that.”