*A Nobody* *n.h.* -Finished-

That Stupid

-Natalie

I’ve been staring at my ceiling for the last hour and a half. I keep on expecting one of the boys to come up and tell me that I got my wish, that I was leaving; even though I don’t want to leave them or go back home. I don’t even know why I said that; in the moment I really just needed to get something off my chest and that was the closest thing to what I actually meant.

“Natalie?” I jumped about a foot off my bed as I heard Louis’ soft voice as he knocked on my door.

I guess they really do want me to leave I actually was hoping they wouldn’t make me leave. Slowly I got off my bed and went and opened the door. I came face to face with a very sad looking Louis. He lifted his head a little and I could see he was fighting tears?

“What’s wrong Louis?” He didn’t say anything instead he motioned for us to go back over to the bed.  He walked in to my room and shut the door behind him.  I walked back over to my bed and sat down, grabbing the pillow to hold onto. Louis sat on the chair that was in my room but his eyes never left my face.

“Are you going to leave us?” His voice cracked as he finally spoke up. My heart just about broke when I heard him speak.

“Louis I don’t k-.” I started but was cut off.

“Bullshit! It’s a simple question. Either you want to go back home to that fucking place or you want to be here.” His voice raised a little as he went on. As he spoke he jumped up from the chair until he was almost in front of me. I was slightly shocked by this and also scared. I pushed myself against the wall and pulled my legs up to my chest.

“What did we not take care of you enough? Do you actually miss those worthless people and that damn place? Or those people who made you cut? Please tell me you aren’t being that stupid?” I looked up at him after he said that. My eyes were producing tears and I hadn’t noticed until now. He was yelling at me now. His whole face was red with anger and his eyes had turned a dark blue.

At the moment I could hear the pounding of feet coming up the stairs but I was frozen on my bed. I really am stupid, wanting to go home.

“Louis, that’s enough.” Liam said as him and Zayn opened the door. Zayn immediately came over and sat beside me, letting me cry into him as Liam pulled Louis out of the room. As he was being pulled out the door I saw his face change and a look of horror flick across his eyes.

“It’s okay.” Zayn softly rubbed his hand on my back as he, unsuccessfully, tried to calm me down. My crying took over, not because Louis yelled at me but because I was stupid. I didn’t want to live anymore when these five boys have given me everything to live for.

Very subtly I was pulled out of Zayn arms and into another warm pair. I didn’t even have to look up to realize that I was in Niall’s arms.

“I got her mate.” The Irish accent rang through my ears. I felt the bed lift a little and then a door softly shut. My sobbing slowly stopped but I still had silent tears falling down my face as I clung to Niall.

“You okay now?” He asked in a soft voice. I slowly nodded my head, indicating I was. Niall didn’t release his grip any, instead he held on tighter as he slowly started rocking us back and forth.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered, after a while of silence, slowly pulling away from him. I wiped my eyes and looked at Niall’s face. He didn’t say anything so I took it as I should continue.

“I’m sorry about what I said. I shouldn’t have said it because you guys honestly have saved me from myself.  Without you guys I probably would be dead right now. These past few weeks have been amazing, even if I fell off the track a little, I wouldn’t trade them for the world and I have you and the other boys to thank.”  I told him the truth. His eyes seemed to brighten as my words came out of my mouth.

“Natalie, there was one reason why I didn’t want you to be a part of this and that was because of the fans hate. It’s cruel and sometimes inhumane what they say but you can’t believe them. This is exactly what they want is for you to leave so you’re not around us but that’s not what I want. I want you beside me every second of the day, laughing and smiling. I haven’t seen that side of you in a while and I miss it.”  He spoke so softly that I almost didn’t hear him. Once he finished he gently placed a kiss on my forehead.  A genuine smile made its way onto my face but as quick as it appeared, it faded.

He’s not going to be very happy but I have to show him what their words caused me to do.

“Niall I have something to show you and I know you are not going to like it.” I took a big breath before I finally showed him what I was meaning. I showed him my arms, letting the newly made cuts be known to him.

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