About a Girl

chapter twenty

"I don't want to go back," Lily sighed. She and Kurt were in his living room curled up on the couch and watching movies. Lily had picked Breakfast at Tiffany's and as the familiar film played in the background, she had started to think about her inevitable return to Aberdeen. This couldn't last forever, Kurt would have to take her back soon and go back to his own life, and what would happen when he did? Would he forget about her? Leave her behind again?

Kurt kissed her forehead and stroked her hair soothingly. "I know you don't, baby," he mumbled.

"I just wish I could be done with high school already." she huffed. "It's so fucking stupid, it's just getting in the way of me living my life."

Kurt laughed. "I know what you mean. That's exactly how I felt when I was your age."

"Ew that makes you sound old," Lily giggled.

Kurt laughed. "What do you want to do after you graduate anyways? Do you have any plans?"

Lily shook her head. "I mean, I'd love to move somewhere bright and wonderful and full of life — like New York City. But I have no idea what I want to do for money."

"New York huh?" Kurt mumbled, more to himself than to Lily. His fingers ran through her soft brown hair as he thought. "Do you still write like you used to? I loved the little stories and poems you wrote for me and Tessa when we were kids."

Lily shrugged. "Sort of. I haven't written any stories in a while, but I still have journals and I write poems sometimes. But I haven't written a story since... It's been a while."

Kurt could hear the wavering in Lily's voice as she spoke, and realized she probably hadn't been able to write much since her sister died. He looked into her eyes and saw the sadness behind her irises; the same sadness he felt inside his ribs.

"You should keep writing," he said softly. You were always so good at it. And I'd love to read anything you write — if you'd let me."

Lily's eyes went wide and her face lit up. "Really?" She breathed. "You really mean it? Even if it's terrible?"

Kurt laughed. "Nothing that you wrote could ever be terrible, Lily." He leaned in and kissed her gently, resting his forehead against hers for a moment and whispering, "You're amazing, and everything you do is amazing. I'd be the luckiest guy on earth if you shared it with me."

Lily blushed, her lips spreading into a grin. "Thank you," she whispered. She had forgotten what it felt like, to be loved, to be encouraged, to be supported.

Kurt didn't say anything, just smiled back and pressed another soft kiss to her lips. They sat in silence for a long time, just watching the movie and enjoying being close to each other. Kurt watched Lily's face as she watched the scenes on the television. He loved the way her emotions would wash over her face, her eyebrows scrunching in concern or her mouth turning up into a little smirk when Holly Golightly said something witty. She must have seen this movie a hundred times, but she absorbed it like it was the first time she'd ever heard the story. It was beautiful, the way her big expressive eyes conveyed the feelings locked inside her heart. He loved letting himself get lost in those eyes, and he hated the fact that he had to take her back to the fucking hellhole that was Aberdeen in a few days.

That night, as they settled into bed wrapped in each other's arms, Kurt let himself dream about a different future. One where Lily stayed with him, and they could live their lives together happily and fuck what everyone else said. But what if she didn't want to stay with him? What do you even have to offer her? You're a heroin addicted musician with a long history of fucking up. What makes you think this will be any different? He shoved the thoughts out of his head, burying his face in Lily's neck and breathing her in. He listened to the beat of her heart and the sound of her breathing and told himself that tomorrow didn't matter. All that mattered was the girl in his arms.

January 10, 1993 (about a week later)

Kurt rolled over in bed, reaching out to put his arm around Lily, but the bed was empty. Rubbing his eyes and groaning, he pulled himself out of bed and stumbled into the living room.

"Lily?" He called. He found her sitting at the kitchen table, staring out the window and smoking a cigarette with a newspaper and a half-empty mug of coffee in front of her. "What're you doing?"

Lily jumped a little at the sound of Kurt's voice. It took a moment for her to drag herself out of the depths of her mind and respond. "Hi!" She said suddenly, putting out her cigarette and jumping up from her seat all at once. She scurried over to Kurt and took both of his hands in hers, looking up at him with her big brown eyes wide with excitement.

"What's up?" He asked with a smile.

"I have an idea," Lily started. "So, last night I couldn't sleep and I was thinking about my future — like what I actually want to do with my life — and I decided that I don't want to go to college."

Kurt raised his eyebrows. "Really?" He asked. "But you're so smart, Lily. Are you sure?"

Lily nodded. "I'm sure. I might be smart, but I hate school. And I don't want to spend any more of my life wasting time in classrooms. In fact, I don't want to spend any more time in high school either. I'm going to drop out and get a job so I can start saving."

Kurt opened his mouth to say something but thought better of it. "I honestly can't argue with that, I did the same thing."

"Exactly!" Said Lily, bouncing lightly on the tips of her toes. "Soooo, I was looking for jobs in the newspaper, and I found a record store that's hiring near here. And I know it would be a lot to ask of you, for me to live here with you, but I would be able to pay rent with some of the money I already have saved and if I got this job-"

Lily's sentence was cut off by Kurt crushing his lips against hers and kissing her hard. Very hard. He pulled the girl into his arms and held her so tight she could hardly breathe — the way he was kissing her was enough to take her breath away by itself. When they finally broke apart they were both grinning at each other and completely out of breath.

"That sounds amazing," Kurt said, holding Lily's face in his big hands and gazing into her eyes lovingly. "I would love it if you lived here."