About a Girl

chapter thirty five

March 8, 1993

The Paramount theater buzzed with the energy and excitement of thousands of people. Sonic Youth was playing tonight, and Kurt, Krist, Dave, and Lily had tickets to the show. They were going out together to celebrate Kurt and Lily's birthdays, and after the show they had plans to go back to Krist's with the members of the band. Lily was ecstatic, she had adored Sonic Youth ever since she bought their album Evol in 1986; and Kurt was dying to show off his amazing new girlfriend to his friends in the band – especially Kim Gordon, who was one of his closest friends and almost like a sister to him.

The four of them made their way to their seats and sat down, Kurt lighting a cigarette, Krist popping open the bottle of wine he'd snuck in, and Dave sparking up a joint. Dave smiled at Lily and offered it to her, and she almost took it before she stopped, remembering that she couldn't smoke or drink anymore. She shook her head sadly and leaned back in her seat. Dave's face crumpled in confusion and a little concern.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing," Lily mumbled. She and Kurt hadn't told anyone about the baby yet; neither of them were ready considering the fact that their relationship had just recently been exposed to the public. Even tonight, they had been noticed huddled together and holding hands by a group of girls around Lily's age who had hissed insults at her as they walked past.

Kurt saw the exchange between Lily and Dave and he shot a smile at his friend. "She's been a little sick lately, so she's trying to take it easy," he explained, putting a comforting arm around Lily's shoulder. It wasn't a lie, it just wasn't the whole truth.

"Ok," Dave said, shrugging his shoulders. "More for me then."

Lily rolled her eyes, laughing a little. But she couldn't help frowning as she watched Krist, Kurt, and Dave smoking and drinking, passing the joint and the bottle of wine back and forth with cigarettes between their lips. She wasn't going to say anything or try to make them stop on her behalf, but it was depressing watching your friends enjoy something you couldn't. She glared at her stomach as she sat leaning into Kurt's side. This was going to be a long nine months.

About a half hour after they arrived, the show started. Everyone in the building rose to their feet as the band came out onstage and started playing their instruments, filling the place with loud, high-energy rock n' roll. Lily clapped and cheered along with everyone else, screaming herself hoarse and bouncing on her toes happily. The music was all-consuming, and she felt herself getting lost in the sound as it swallowed her whole. An expression of pure unfiltered happiness was on her face and she squeezed Kurt's hand every once in a while. He was also lost in the experience, banging his head and jumping around along with Krist and Dave. A couple of times Lily looked over at them and laughed to herself at their dancing, but she ended up joining in as the show went on. At one point during the show Lily was having a hard time seeing the stage, so she asked Krist if he could pick her up so she could see. It took a bit of convincing, but eventually he gave in and Lily climb up onto his back.

Dave and Kurt cackled at the two of them. "God, I wish I brought a camera!" Dave yelled over the noise.

"This is so much fun!" cried Lily. "I fucking love being tall!"

Unfortunately, the piggyback ride only lasted for about three songs. Then Krist got tired and made her get down. But he switched places with Dave, keeping an arm around the small girl. He had grown attached to her, almost seeing her as a little sister, and liked being near her, even if he wouldn't admit it.

The concert was spectacular, and after it ended the four of them made their way backstage to see their friends in the band. Lily was nearly shaking with nerves, overcome with anxiety at the prospect of meeting some of her all-time favorite musicians. Kurt picked up on this, of course, and slid his arm around her waist, giving her a comforting squeeze. She relaxed a little into his touch, but she couldn't stop chewing on her lips as they walked through the crowded backstage area. They found the greenroom, and Dave pounded on the door enthusiastically.