About a Girl

chapter thirty three

March 3, 1993

Lily hummed quietly to herself as she roamed around the record shop, organizing the boxes and crates full of music that filled the store. She had been feeling a little better lately, not quite all the way better but she wasn't puking as much, and so she had returned to work. Her 19th birthday was less than a week away and Kurt had been very busy the last few days planning an extra-special super-secret surprise. Lily had always ignored her birthday – especially since Tessa died – but she remembered with fondness how her sister and Kurt had always done their best to make the day special when she was a kid. Needless to say she was incredibly excited to see what he had in store for this year.

The bell over the front door rang out, announcing that someone was either coming in or going out, and Lily turned to see who it was. She offered a friendly smile to Steve, who was returning from his lunch break. But her smile faded as she noticed the flabbergasted expression on his face.

"Holy shit," he breathed, running over to her and grabbing her by the shoulders. "Holy shit! Lily, is this you??" He thrust the crumpled newspaper he was holding into Lily's hands. Her blood ran cold when she saw the photograph on the front page, a picture of her and Kurt kissing on the sidewalk in front of the movie theater. "Oh my God it's you, isn't it? Holy fuck!"

Lily was frozen in place, staring at the image in front of her. The headline read "NIRVANA Frontman Kurt Cobain Seen With Mystery Woman" and next to a photo of Courtney, "Have The King and Queen of The Grunge Scene Split??" She skimmed through the article and her stomach turned as she realized she was being portrayed as a homewrecker and a villian.

"Lily how could you not tell me that you know Kurt fucking Cobain?!" Steve interrogated, shaking her roughly by her shoulders. "Jesus Christ, I can't believe you're on the front fucking page making out with the most famous guy in the world!"

Lily's eyes started filling with tears. Steve was right. Kurt was at least one of the most famous people in the world right now; she had been such an idiot to think that their relationship was going to be anything but extremely public. But still, she couldn't help but despise seeing her picture on the front page and reading someone's fucked up idea of her. Whoever wrote that fucking article didn't know the first thing about her. They didn't even know her name for Christ's sake!

"I'm gonna be sick," she muttered, pushing Steve off of her and rushing out the door. She doubled over and vomited into the street, groaning as she melted into a crouched position on the sidewalk.

A few minutes later, Steve came out. He handed her her coat, patted her back reassuringly, and told her to take the rest of the day off, if she needed it. Lily thanked him and began walking down the sidewalk back to her apartment. As she walked, her head started to race with thoughts of what Kurt would say when he found out. Would he be angry? Would he leave her? Would he say something stupid like he was going to quit the band? Lily knew how much he hated being in the public eye – she wasn't a fan of it either, so far – but she didn't want him to throw away the career that he loved. The more circles her thoughts ran around her head the faster her heart beated until eventually, she looked down to see that she was sprinting down the street. She didn't stop running until she burst through the door of the apartment, slamming it closed and leaning against it as she gasped for breath.

"Lily? Is that you?" Kurt's voice called to her from the bedroom. He came out into the living room and looked at her with concern in his bright blue eyes. "What's wrong? Why are you home so early?"

Unable to stop the tears from falling down her face, Lily collapsed on the ground in a mess of sobs and snot. "T-They know!" she cried. "They know about us!"

Kurt sat down next to her, wrapping his arms around her body. "Who knows?" he asked. He still had no idea what was going on.

"E-Everyone!!" Lily shouted. Her tears were hot and fat and angry and they wouldn't stop coming. "Someone took pictures of us kissing at the movies and they're on the front fucking page!"

Kurt gritted his teeth. He hated reporters and the media in general more than anything. He had been hoping to protect Lily, to keep her safe and away from the cameras and the crowds that were desperate to rip you apart into a million tiny, disfigured pieces of yourself, but in the end there was nothing he could do.

"They were so mean to me," the sound of her voice, like a little girl being bullied on the playground, made Kurt's heart break. He knew firsthand how vicious the media could be and it killed him that the person he loved had to endure the same torment he did.

"What did they say, baby?" he asked, trying to keep the anger he felt out of his voice.

Lily sniffled. "The article... called me a "mystery woman" – they don't even know my fucking name Kurt – and it said that I was a homewrecker... that I had broken up you and Courtney."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Kurt hissed. "Courtney and I broke up because she's an intolerable bitch and a junkie and I wasn't happy, not because of you. And a homewrecker? That's fucking ridiculous! I feel more at home with you than with anyone I've ever met."

Kurt held Lily close, taking hold of her jaw and tilting her head up so she could meet his gaze. "I love you. That's all that matters. I don't care what those cunts write about us and you shouldn't either."

Lily's tears finally stopped and she smiled as Kurt looked deep into her eyes, into her heart. "I love you too," she whispered.