Querencia

Three

Carrie's POV

I smoothed my dress as I walked into the hospital, there were lots of people who seemed like they had far more pressing issues than mine. I am sure they wondered what I was doing there.

I gathered courage and walked up to the receptionist. I had a faux smile on my face to cover up how I truly felt about being here.

"Good morning ma, I am Carrie and i am here to see Dr Winnie" I said as the place suddenly became hot.

The receptionist smiled at me and for a moment, I saw pity in her eyes.

"Yes go to the 2nd floor, waiting room on your right, her office is the first one on the left" She said and I smiled politely.

I quickly walked to the elevator and when it closed, I sank to the floor. I wished the elevator could just stop working with me inside but will God answer that? Never. When the elevator bell dinged, I came out and as usual the place was deserted. Not a single soul.

"Not everyone is damaged like you" a voice said "Just give up, you can never be normal again, you are scarred for life"

"Just shut up" I yelled and I am sure if anyone was there they will think I had gone crazy but no one was here.

I rubbed my palms against each other as I stood infront of the door.

"Come in Carrie" I heard Dr Winnie say and I knew there was no going back now.

Don't get me wrong, I don't have an issue with Dr Winnie but my issue is theraphy. It made me feel damaged and psychotic but I knew I needed to heal and also to get over my addiction for drugs.

"Hey" I said before seating on one of the comfy chairs.

"Long time no see Carrie, how are you?" She asked smiling

This was a question I dreaded so much cause deep down I knew I felt like shit but as usual I give a normal reply "Fine"

"Do you care for Caprisun?" She asked bringing out two for me

"Thanks Doc" I replied sipping eagerly.

"Carrie, I need you to understand that braveness comes from feeling your feelings so tell me how do you feel?" Dr Winnie asked

"I took... I took the..uhm drugs again" I replied unable to look at her.

I knew I was pathetic, 5 months of theraphy down the drain again. I won't blame her if she gives up on me too after all others did.

"5 months without drugging is good, I am proud of you honestly" Dr Winnie said "Carrie, I need you to understand that the journey to healing isn't smooth, you will fall sometimes but you have to stand up okay?"

"Doc, I don't know what to do. I am damaged" I said finally losing all my willpower and turning into a crying mess. Doctor Winnie held me as I cried.

"I feel that you have been strong for too long, Carrie. Don't Bury it instead seek to heal it. I will be here anytime you need me and if you feel pressure to take drugs just send me a text okay?" She said and I nodded.

"Thanks doc" I replied.

After the two hours, I left the hospital and I felt lightened for a while. Maybe there was still hope for me after all.

"Adam, please take me to Market Square" I said to my driver.

"Yes small madam" he replied

......
"Carrie, are you with everything you need for school" Mum asked after I had dropped my three boxes in the car.