A Faltering self (Distorted Reality book 2)

Chapter 7- Everything is Fine

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(Kalston's POV)

It's another morning that feels nice with a hint of worry lying underneath. It's been that way for the past couple. Though Maddy has said that she's fine, and nothing else has been shown that should make me worry, there's this twist in my gut that keeps me thinking something's bound to. That something is coming to tear our happiness away. I know it has a lot to do with my being in her life being built on a lie, and it's going to come out eventually, but that was before, and somehow it doesn't even compare to the worry now. Or at least the amount of worry is the same, but with it placed on the scale to fall more towards a different side. Now, if...

No. When she finds out, if...

Again, when she pushes me away, I don't know how I'll be able to protect her. Before it was to protect her from him and his life. From danger in general, but this... How do you protect someone from their own mind? At least while I'm with her, I can try to do something. Before, I thought that at least she would be fine enough to move on after she pushes me away, but now, how can I accept that if any of this could break her?

How is that fair?

I can't even be angry at God, because I'm confused. Normally I'd blame him for this, but I'm not sure what to do. It's a cruel joke of sorts. Every time I try to protect the ones I love, something always seems to come in the way. I could always blame myself, blame God for putting me in the position, but this, this was all me. I chose to go in this route, to go back to him and take this job, to stay after knowing the kind of person Madison is, and I'm the one still choosing to stay. But even still, Maybe I can do something to help. Do my own work to help get her out of this.

Maybe...

I'm almost tempted to ask for God's help, but I can't. That barrier stays there between us, and I choose to take this on alone. I'm used to that.

I know I can at least start today. I can try to use the girls' family coming over to try and see what they can tell me. I'll have to be careful, but maybe playing the boyfriend role of just wanting to learn more about Madison will work to stay under the radar. I might not be her boyfriend, but enough is there between us that it shouldn't raise too much suspicion that I'd be asking.

Should I try to make my affection more clear when others are around?

I still don't want to overstep with Madison, but I know making things obvious will be the best route.

I'll leave it up to her. I'll test the waters and see how she responds. If she pulls back, then I'll find another way to get the information.

I do have one alternative that I might go with even while doing asking of my own. Heading to the closet, I grab a box hidden in a compartment I made. I also made a false wall yesterday to cover the links I have pinned on the real one. in case anyone does manage to stumble upon the closet and past the locked door.

I'm also not stupid by saying that, just sarcastic if you couldn't tell. I know it won't be stumbling upon as much as purposefully trying to snoop, and that's why I have a camera hidden to spot whoever might end up doing that.

The box I have, it has some other toys I can use to do snooping of my own. I grab out some of the bugs I have and slip them into my pocket to lay around Madison's place. I already have some set up around mine and outside the house, but I've been conflicted about bugging her place.