A Faltering self (Distorted Reality book 2)

Chapter 52- Falling Deeper

(Madd's POV)

Things are hectic when we head inside. Voices are loud, and shadows dance out of the corner of my eyes; a hand slips back into the living room from the doorway leading that way from the kitchen, a figure stands in the corner of the dining room wearing her usual dress and apron, and my two shadows are back on each arm. Of course, my family is completely oblivious to it all as they all split off to their own things. I find myself bringing my focus back to my book as I head to my room, hoping I don't see the usual girl hanging out at the stairs leading to the basement or the little boy who peeks out of the attic at times.

Once I'm in my room, I'm at least safe from most of the others. Peter finds his way to the curtain and reminds me to shut it.

"He's staring in again, Darling."

I can't look because I'm sure I'll catch the yellow eyes that haunt my nightmares at times. I'm normally good at shutting it before it gets too dark, but I must have forgotten to take care of it before storming off earlier.

I fall back into my bed and take out my phone to stare at Jackson's last message. I want to text them, but fear that it'll be too pushy if I do.

Is it too soon?

'Of course, you just saw him. Do you want to annoy him?'

'No, it's not. You're overthinking it.'

He seemed like he liked me, right? Like, like likes me... So, maybe-

'Stop!'

'If you make the wrong move, it will make things awkward. If he likes you, then he'll text.'

Why? If I want to text him, then why do I have to wait?

'Are you willing to risk it?'

Peter sits down at the bottom of my bed.

"You know how you can be at times, Darling. Maybe you should be careful. I love your obsessive behavior, but others tend to not. If you're not careful, you'll push him away like Grace, and Lucy, and Cammy, and Dillion, and-"

I stare daggers at him to my right before cutting him off.

"I get it, you can shut up now."

I find myself turning hard and cold again. Peter has a tendency to bring out my apathy. I roll my head back to center and stare at the ceiling for what feels like too long as my thoughts clutter inside my head.

'You think too highly of yourself.'

'Why do you assume he has any feeling for you more than pity?'

That's not true. No, he likes me...

'And if he does, all you're going to do is drive him away. You drive everyone away. Even you're own mother.'

'You just annoy anyone you're around.'

'There's no point in trying to build anything from this. Before too long, you'll both forget each other. Any relationship you form now is only going to start from scratch.'

That doesn't mean it's not worth trying.

'You're only going to get hurt.'

"You could always run away. You and me, away from all of this madness, Darling. I could make sure they never find us."

Yeah, right. There's no escaping this nightmare.

My eyes sting as I hold back tears. Looking over at Peter, I'm only reminded that any peace I have is either not mine to begin with, or when it is, it's only a matter of time before it's taken away. Everything just leads back to this hell.

Please, God, take me away from this. Make this all stop. Help me get out of this endless nightmare.

And as if sent by Him, a message comes through that begins to break through my growing dark feelings. It's from exactly who I wanted it to be.

Liam.

💬Hey, beautiful, what are you up to?

Somehow, it's as if he's the thing to always bring me out of my head and remind me that everything isn't so bad, even in this nightmare. I trade my book for my phone, and find myself losing track of everything while lost with him instead.