A Faltering self (Distorted Reality book 2)

Chapter 16- Fleeting Peace

*Trigger warning/ S/S thoughts*

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I'm off to myself again. Things are the same as they usually are, me with people surrounding, yet all I can do is find myself wanting to be anywhere but. I abandoned Jackson and them not too long ago and can't even seem to hate myself for it. Numb began to set in and I wanted to get away. The voices were becoming too much. Both from the people surrounding and the spirits.

I just needed to get away from them and to my quiet spot.

It's one of a few that I've found. I'm not sure what they are, or even how they are, but there are small pockets of space that are just quiet. Like whatever barrier between our world and the spiritual is stronger, so the voices and shadows aren't able to be perceived. I'm sure they're around, but the fact that I can forget for a little while is enough for me.

I'm lying in the grass behind a set of trees that block this space from the rest of the world. Or at least it feels like it. And that too is enough for me.

The sun peaks through the leaves above me and I enjoy the small bits of warm rays that touch my face. I breathe in the silence. The most quiet it will be for a while after. There's no quiet spot near my home, so Grandma's is the one I escape to most. The wind picks up slightly to drift the smell of everyone's cooking back to me. Bits of burning wood from fireplaces cling to the scents of spices in the air. There's also something a bit pungent that I'm not sure of but ignore.

Leaves begin to crunch near me, but I hold on to the peace finally trying to break me out of this numb feeling. It's almost there but hasn't had time to settle over me, and I'm desperate for it.

Someone lays down beside me and I can feel their eyes on me, but I play dumb as usual in the hopes that I can grip onto the fleeting peace that already seems gone.

A small brush on the back of my hand, it's enough to finally make me break and open my eyes back to the reality of today and how much I want it to already be over. I can see a glimpse of who's lying next to me and it gives me a bit of relief.

I roll my head over to look at Jackson. His expression is unreadable and so is the one who is in the driver's seat currently.

"You looked peaceful..."

I give a faint smile before looking back up at the leaves above.

"I'm sorry for leaving you behind, I just needed to get away for a moment."

"No, it's okay, Mads. It's quiet here?"

I close my eyes again, feeling okay with it being... well, whoever it is. I still can't quite tell. I think It's Jackson, he has the same settled self that he does at times, but the tone he holds is strangely calmer than usual. A hint of confidence. Almost reminiscent of Alder, but not quiet. I don't feel like I should be on guard like I do with him.

"It is. I found it not long after our trials started. Well... technically I've been coming here for a few years now, but it was after hearing the voices again that I noticed this was the one place the spirits didn't come through. The one place I can get away from him."