A Faltering self (Distorted Reality book 2)

Chapter 73- Goodbye, for now

(Kalston's POV)

I make some coffee, and a little extra in case Canton too wakes up wanting it. Instead of turning on the light that might get into his eye too much, I open the current in the kitchen to let in a little natural light instead. I keep getting everything prepped when I notice movement outside. It grabs my attention, and head to the window more to watch as Madison and Matt get into his car.

What are they doing?

Isn't... what?

I notice my confusion begin to arise into anger as a flash of past betrayal tries to cloud my mind.

No!

I don't need to jump to conclusions...

No matter how much my mind wants to pull me to watch what's going on with them, I know that doing so is only going to mess up my thoughts more. So, I focus harder on getting coffee made instead.

I lean against the counter, my grip clenching and realising the counter as time drags on and I find it harder not to want to watch them out the window. I keep looking out, but at the angle I'm at, there's a bitter sweet thankfulness that I can't see his car from where I'm at.

Just stop.

I know-

'You're going to push her away.'

She's not like Adeline.

Madison wouldn't toy with me like she did.

There's nothing going on.

'Or she's leaving you.'

No...

There's more to it, and I don't need to know. I can trust her.

'Because you're the one that can't be trusted. What is going to happen when she finds out about why you're even in her life? She will definitely push away then.'

....

Then maybe I should tell her...

If I tell her now, then maybe she won't hate me as much.

What will he say if I tell her now?

...

Before I have time to let my mind wander too far in that direction, the door opens and I head out of the kitchen to see Madison coming inside.

I put on a smile that's not all a lie to cover the slight jealousy that can't help but linger.

"Hey, what took you so long, Love?"

Her smile towards me once again seems to be holding something back as she answers.

"I was telling Matt goodbye before I leave. He wanted to apologize about something so we went to his car for a bit to not wake anyone up."

Well that explains that then.

There's this split second of something Remorseful?

I don't know. It wasn't long enough for me to know for certain the feeling behind it. Whatever kind of emotion behind it does tell me enough that she's back in her head about something that is messing with her.

Love...

I try to keep the conversation honest in an attempt that she'll do the same and open to me.

"Oh, okay, I was wondering about that, but that makes sense."

Maybe if she knows that I'm trying, then she will trust me enough to finally tell me more of what's going on with her.

"I asked Kay if you could come, but she said no. I'm sorry."

Madison looks to the floor as if she's disappointed me. And though I would rather not go a whole week not seeing her, it's not something she can help.

I grab her hands into mine.

"Love, that's nothing to be sorry for. Am I going to miss you? Of course, but sometimes life will take us apart for a little bit. That doesn't mean that it's something you should apologize for. I just want you to enjoy your time there, and when you come back, you get to enjoy your time with me."

I lift her chin up so that I can meet her eyes to mine.

"As long as you're mine, Love, I can survive anything."

I won't shy away from how I feel. I need her to know that my feelings are real so that when she does find things out, then maybe she'll know that no matter the reason I'm here, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

She steps to me and hugs me, and I put my arms around her and hold her. Cherishing the last bits of having her with me right now.

"But I expect you to call me every night, okay." I tell her, teasing.

She lifts her head up smiling again, but this one is a little lighter then the one before.

"Ahhh ummmmm, I'll have to see if I can squeeze you into my schedule then." She laughs lightly with that.

"But, no, of course I will."

She seems hesitant about something before she gives me a kiss.

"I have to go, but... I love you."

Her words seem to come out of nowhere, but bring a grin out of me none the less.

"I love you too."

Madison heads back out of the door, and I stay there in silence as I let her words linger with me.

She loves me...

She loves me!

!!!

...She loves me.

That's not good.