A Faltering self (Distorted Reality book 2)

Chapter 33- Getting Lost...

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Stuck in the driveway, I can't seem to push myself to get out of my car. Matt should already be here as I took my time fixing my makeup, or more so fully taking it off before leaving the park, but his car isn't here. That in itself is a reason I stayed originally in my car, or at least that's what I told myself, but being in my own space, it's not something I want to end so soon. I was hoping that he'd be here to make things not feel so hard. Even though I told him I was fine, even though I thought I was, that moment was before the next was to be back into the chaos. When it was merely a thought, an idea, and not something needing to be pushed forward into. So, now, I just sit in my car pleading for anything to make me into someone who can handle this or this into something I can.

Just breathe, and take it one step at a time.

Realizing that I should check on Kalston, that's what pushes me to finally move into my next motion. I know he might be tough and can handle a lot, but I also know how extreme Zach can be. He wouldn't have pulled any punches, and being in the military, I'm sure he knows some things that many don't. Though I didn't stay to see the full fallout, I'm certain that he hurt Kalston.

Each step feels slowed, and they probably are, but it's once my hand is on the handle that my gut sinks further than it already has. It opens before I have the chance to turn back. Bailey is the one there with a panicked expression before she pulls me into a hug.

"Oh, Maddy, I'm so sorry."

Pulling away from her, I try to ensure her everything is fine. She had as little choice in the matter than I did.

"It's fine, you weren't the one fighting. I'm sorry I ran away. It just..."

Her expression softens from panic to understanding.

"I know. I'm glad you ran off, it gave me the opportunity to put some sense into those two idiots. You don't have to worry about Zach though, he went home."

Confused, I hate myself for being glad that he's gone. That even if he's spending the holiday now alone, it means he's not here anymore. I'm not sure how much longer I could have handled it without escaping again.

"But, he didn't have to leave."

I try to let my words be nicer than the feeling I have.

"Girl, the boy needed to. Matt offered to take him home so he wouldn't have to call a ride, and don't feel bad, you know you're at least a little glad he's not here. He shouldn't have been, to begin with. Jonathan was wrong for putting that choice on you. I gave him a piece of my mind too before he left earlier."

The guilt is still there, but the weight not as much. Everyone that's left are people I'm comfortable with enough to not feel the need to consistently take space for myself. It's then that my concern for Kalston grows. My eyes look past Bailey in the search for him even if the entranceway blocks most of the rest of the house.

"He's at his place. I told him he needed to cool down a bit and clean up before coming back over."

I give her a weak smile and find myself taking a step back as he's the one I want to see. Even more so with her words of needing to be cleaned up, it gives me an idea of how bad off he is.