How To Act Straight? [COMPLETE]

KABANATA 22

One month have passed since Kitty left Nikolai, wala man lang siyang natanggap na paramdamdam ni isa mula sa dalaga. He wants to cry one more time but his eyes are dried up, no more tears to cry.

Nikolai was lifeless at lagi siyang naka isolate sa kwarto nito. Ayaw niya papasukin ang mga magulang niya sa mansion. His parents are the reason why she abandoned him now, almost dying and no more reasons to live though. Kung magbigti nalang kaya siya?

He lowered his head at una niyang namataan ang isang picture frame kung nasaan ang larawan nila ng dalaga na nakangiti sa camera.

He was hugging her behind. They were so happy to start that day. Kitty loves taking pictures as she loves keeping memories with him.

Muli na namang kumirot ang puso niya sa tuwing naaalala niya iyon. Agad niyang kinuha ang picture frame at ibinato sa trash bin. The glass were broke into pieces because of that. Saglit siyang natigilan at dali-dali niyang kinuha pabalik.

“I’m sorry. I-I’m sorry, fuck… I-I miss you, kailan ka ba babalik?” he mumbled in the air. He hugged that poor broken frame as his eyes watered again this time. Wala siyang pake kung masugat man ang kamay niya dahil sa mga bubog.

Kahabag-habag ang hitsura at kalagayan ngayon ni Nikolai. Hindi na rin niya maasikaso ng maayos ang sarili niya. His hair was disheveled and messy as they were starting to grow long, stubble on his chin are so visible, as well as dark eyebags from having a panic attack and insomnia every night.

The day he have gotten into an accident, hanggang sa operasyon niya ay laging si Kitty ang nasa isipan niya. Thankfully, he recovered so fast because it is only a minor injury. Kahit papaano ay maswerte parin siya mula sa panganib.

Maya-maya ay nakatulala na siya sa kawalan habang natuyo na naman ang luha niya sa pisngi.

“Nikolai? Let me in! It’s your cousin, Niki!” hindi man lang siya natinag sa lakas ng boses ng pinsan niya sa labas. She keeps on spamming the doorbell button.

Niki tried to open the gate, Buti nalang ay hindi na iyon naka-lock but the problem is, ayaw naman siyang pagbuksan ni Nikolai sa main door ng mansion.

She knocked the door again for the second time. “Nikolai! Please, open this freaking door… I know you’re tired but please, I want to talk to you—”

“Leave me alone Niki! I don’t want anyone right now—” sigaw pabalik ni Nikolai sa kaniya.

Her eyes rolled pero hindi niya maitago ang pag-alala sa mukha niya. She’s aware that Nikolai was not a suicidal kind of person but that is not enough reason to stay calm and act cool, he’s not okay and really needs a fucking therapy immediately!

“Kung nahihirapan ka, mas lalo na kami. Open this damn door and don’t be selfish. I’m freaking serious!” banta ng dalaga sa kaniya.

But still, no response from him. Matagal na natahimik ang paligid. “Nikolai? Please—”

Nagulat nalang siya nang biglang bumukas nang dahan-dahan ang pintuan at iniluwa niyon ang pigura ng pinsan niya.

Her eyes starts to teared up as she finally saw him. Nikolai was so different, pumayat siya. His state right now is so miserable.

Agad siyang niyakap ng kaniyang pinsan. He didn’t make a move, Nikolai was standing still like he was a post nor statue.

Niki sobbed to his chest. “I-I’m sorry.” iyon lang ang nasabi niya.

Nanatili sila sa ganoong posisyon sa loob ng sampung minuto. She didn’t want to let him go.

Anong nangyari sa pinsan niya? Hindi siya makapaniwala na darating ang panahon na ito.