The Little Things In Life [K-POP LITTLE SPACE/AGERE]

🌸 Standstill- SEVENTEEN 🌸

Fandom: SEVENTEEN
Little(s): Yoon Jeonghan (3-5)
Caregiver(s): Choi Seungcheol || S.Coups, Hong Jisoo || Joshua

Summary: Jeonghan is in a bad place, mentally. He just wants to be comforted and babied, but would rather be alone than be a burden. (A/N: This is more like age-dreaming than regression, but keep in mind that everyone's agedre/agere looks and feels different! I'm working on requests right now, don't worry! They're coming, just a bit slowly!)

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Jeonghan pouted and glanced at his phone clock. It was almost 3 a.m, which had become his new normal for staying awake. He used to fall asleep much quicker, but recently he'd been going to bed later and sleeping in more... which meant that the members and staff often scolded him for being so tired during schedules, so tired that he'd quietly blend into the background of variety contents and forget dance moves during practice.

He didn't want to sleep, but he wanted the bad thoughts gone. He wanted his brain to shut up and leave him alone, wanted his head to stop bothering him about the things he can't control.

Jeonghan still lives in a dorm with Seungkwan and Joshua, who stays over a little more often than he should (in Seungkwan's opinion, at least). The others either live in another dorm together or have their own homes. Jeonghan feels helpless, feels like he's falling behind because he's now the oldest member at the dorms. Seungcheol has his own house with his brother, so why doesn't he?

It seems like every time he speaks to his family, he ends up leaving worse than when they'd started. He's been avoiding them, except for surface-level things. Anytime he tried to talk about the things that really worried or bothered him, it would end in an argument. He was sick and tired of arguing.

His voice hadn't changed much while the other members had. The others had become so versatile and proficient in their singing and dancing abilities, but Jeonghan feels as if he'd stayed static since debut. What is it that he even does?

He's sad, it's that simple. His life feels like it's stuck at a standstill, and it frustrates him to no end. He knows he's still young and has a lot of life left to live, but he's not sure he wants to.

Sometimes Soonyoung makes fun of him for moping around. Everyone around him seems to leave him behind. He even let his hair grow long again and if the makeup noonas aren't styling it, then he leaves it to sit in a tangled up mess.

Jeonghan feels like giving up, to be honest.

In that moment, he starts to feel hazy as tears brim at the corners of his eyes and wet his lashes. He looked around for his pacifier, climbing out of his bed and flashing his phone flashlight to crawl around the floor. He started to get nervous, slipping into his headspace even faster -where was his paci? Was it gone forever? Did one of the other members take it away and hide it when he wasn't paying attention.

Was he stupid for age regressing? Was he really a burden on the others?

Were the bad thoughts... were they right all along?

Jeonghan whimpered, slipping his My Melody themed pacifier in his mouth. He bit the teat of it, curling his legs to his chest. His phone buzzed somewhere in his sheets and he scrambled for it madly, tossing around and turning to find it in the ocean of soft blankets.

He picked it up and held it up close to his face, babbling as he unlocked his screen.

The message was from Seungcheol. 'You okay, Angel?' The message said, as if Seungcheol knew just then that Jeonghan was feeling small. As if Seungcheol knew he was spiraling and spiraling fast. 

It made Jeonghan freeze and stare at the phone screen apprehensively, not knowing what to do. His fingers lingered on Seungcheol's message, tempted to click on it or call him or something, but he couldn't bring himself to.

"Wan' appa..." He hiccuped, curling in on himself even more. He grabbed his blankie and shut his eyes, turning the cell phone off.

Another message came through a few minutes later, startling Jeonghan again. He reluctantly looked at the screen to see Joshua's icon with name "Shushu❤️" under it, another message of concern.

'Hannie, baby. We're worried about you. Are you home?' It read. Then another: 'Are you feeling tiny, sweetheart?'

He doesn't want to be a burden to his caregivers. Actually, he doesn't want to be a burden to anyone, don't even perceive him. He doesn't want any of the younger members to even know about his little space, scared of feeling humiliated or them simply not understanding.

So here he sits in the dark -he hates the dark, by the way- depressed and alone and scared. He knows that he could stop all of the bad feelings by calling Seungcheol or Joshua over, but he just... can't. He can't bring himself to do it.

"Hannie bad." Jeonghan hiccuped from behind his pacifier, tossing his phone somewhere across the room. It landed with a loud thud, which made him flinch and sit up now, wondering where his phone went.

He hoped nobody woke up because of that. 'Gosh, that'd make Hannie even worse, wouldn't it?' He thinks miserably, full-on crying now.

The door creaked open gently and Jeonghan whimpered in fear, crawling back beneath his sheets. There was silence before he heard two muffled voices whisper to each other and the sound of light footsteps coming towards him.

Jeonghan peeks his little head up from the sheets curiously. One of the people picks up his discarded phone from the floor and hands it off gingerly to the other. A part of him holds out hope that it's his caregivers and that someone really came to Jeonghan without him asking for it like the burden he thinks he is. Someone came over and sat on the edge of Jeonghan's bed and Jeonghan tried his hardest not to quiver at that. The other person stands in the doorway, watching from a distance with their arms crossed. 

There's a hand softly finding its way through Jeonghan's long hair and before he can stop himself, he's crying even harder, sobbing loudly. The figure in the doorway chuckles lightly and the person sitting next to him gently places Jeonghan's phone down on his nightstand with his other hand, next to his untaken medications and tangled up chargers.

He hears Joshua say something, something he doesn't understand. His head becomes fuzzier at that and he feels warm, knowing now that the one who's holding him close is Seungcheol. He leans into Seungcheol's touch, taking the blanket off of his head to reveal messy blonde hair falling over his eyes, something that makes both of them laugh.

Jeonghan's heart flutters at the oldest man's next words, as calm and loving as his embrace is. 

"Hello there, Angel."