It had now been exactly two months since I got admitted into the Eating Disorder Center for children and teens. I apparently wasn't doing well enough to come home. They found out I that I've been purging yesterday, I was caught throwing up my lunch in the bathroom.
They also assigned me my own therapist now along with a nutritionist. My roommate Chris got caught smoking and they confiscated his cigarettes and his lighter they also searched his closet and found some laxatives under his shoes. That fucking sucks because even if I wanted to use them now I can't and they also found my vape and took that away.
I also decided to break up with Lucy because I didn't want to put her through any more of my problems any than I already was. My friend Logan came to visit almost everyday and so did Jake. However Brady stoped going after the first few times, he was using the, "I hate hospitals" excuse. Which I knew was total bullshit in his part. Brady just didn't feel like wasting the summertime in the hospital.
My parents were both extremely worried about me which only made me feel ten times worse than I already did about being "sick with an eating disorder." I really hated the fact that because I have one every treats me differently now, almost like everyone is afraid of saying the wrong things about food or basically anything to me.
My first month here pretty much a pain in the ass as far as I'm concerned. They are also forcing me to use the bathroom with a nurse because they don't trust me to go alone. That's what they do for their bulimic patients I guess. It sucks because my body wants to reject food as soon as I swallow it, they think it's easy to just eat. I wish I could eat food without feeling like shit afterwards but unfortunately that hasn't happened for me yet.
My parents were probably going to come visit today and I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach that they were gonna find out what I did. "Thomas are you still with us?" The group therapist asked me. "I'm sorry I guess I sorta zoned out sir." I said as I realized I was getting lost in my head again. "No need to apologize." Do you have anything you'd like to share?" I was then asked.
"No thanks." I said to the group therapist. "So I guess today's group is pretty much done now." The group therapist said to all of us. I slowly got up from my seat and began to feel dizzy. I had to hold the wall for a moment before I could walk back to my room. "Thomas, do you feel alright?" The group therapist asked me. "Oh, uh yeah I feel fine just have to get my balance." I explained to him.
"Let me walk you back, you seem faint." The group therapist told me. "Thank you." I said to the group therapist. "I'm just really tired." I said trying to blow it off. "You should rest up before dinner." The group therapist told me as he helped me get into my bed. "Feel better Thomas." The group therapist told me as he left the room.
*****Time Jump******
"This is too much food, I can't possibly eat all of this." I cried as I stared down at my tray of food. "It's only a little more than what we gave you yesterday Thomas." The chef said to me. I rolled my eyes as I pushed my tray on the side of the table. There was no way I was gonna eat the Steak, mashed potatoes and gravy or the bread.
They gave me a box of grape juice to drink too, I was suddenly feeling sick to my stomach. "You need to build your strength back up so you can go home." My nurse told me. "I honestly don't give a shit, there's no way I'm eating this fattening food!" I said as I nervously shook my leg.
I saw Hilary looking at me like she was trying to figure me out. "Thomas just give it a try." The chef told me as he walked over to collect someone's tray. I knew that they wouldn't let me be until I took a bite, so I did. "Now, that a boy eat up." The chef told me. "And if you'd like desert I can give you some pudding." The chef told me.
I gave a fake smile as I spit out my food into a napkin. "Hilary can I have your salad?" I asked her. "Im sorry but I can't give you my salad." She said to me as she continued to eat her fried chicken. "That's okay, it just looks so good." I said to her.
******
A few moments later I got an idea, I knew exactly how to play this out. I was gonna eat the food then ask for desert also instead of the pudding I was gonna request a milkshake. It would be so easy to puke up with a milkshake in my stomach, everything would come up so easily.
"Are you feeling okay man?" Chris asked me. "Yeah, why?" I asked as I continued to eat. "Just not used to seeing you so happy I guess." He said to me. "Who says I'm happy?" I said to him as I finished up my tray. "See, I knew ya could do it." The chef told me. "Now you said if I ate my dinner I could have desert, correct?" I asked him. "You'd be right." The chef told me.
"What's the options for today?" I asked with a fake smile. "A strawberry milkshake, chocolate pudding, or a brownie?" He asked me cheerfully. "I'll do the milkshake!" I said faking a smile again. I already felt so uncomfortably full, I wished I hadn't eaten any of it now. I was dreading the night ahead of me because I knew I'd get tired out from purging.
"Here's your strawberry milkshake." The chef told me. "Thanks." I said as I took a big sip of it. I was trying to do the math of calculating all of the calories in my head, which I really hated. If I had the math right the meal was around 580 calories and the milkshake I knew was around at least 400 or 500.
I could already feel the fat forming around my bones and my body. Once I finished the milkshake that's when it dawned on me that I was now experiencing a bulimic episode, because I didn't want to stop eating now. I wanted to grab some more stuff from the fridge and eat that. And for what, just to throw it all up?
Maybe I should tell my therapist about this because I was scared of what I might do next. I was starting to feel extremely uncomfortable now i could feel my stomach cramping up. I hadn't eaten this much since one of the last times I was home. My stomach was starting to churn and I felt like if I didn't purge now that I'd hate myself later.
"All right everyone tonight is going to be movie night, so we'll stay up a little bit later than we normally would." The therapist told all of us as we walked back to our rooms. "You good man?" Chris asked me. "I will be once I get rid of it." I whispered to him as we made our way back to our room.
"Aren't you afraid of getting caught man?" Chris whispered to me as we closed the door behind us. "I was like this for basically a year and no one noticed until the last day of school." I explained as I drank some faucet water from the sink. "I'll cover for you, but please don't get yourself caught." Chris told me as he walked over to our door to keep cover for me.
I quickly snuck out my window and stuck my finger down my throat as everything started to come out of me. I found a paper bag in the dining room hall and snuck it into my pocket. As I finished up I threw the bag of vomit off the roof and instantly felt so much better when I was done.
"You so owe me for that." Chris told me as I snuck back inside. "I'll make it up to you, whatever you need." I told Chris as I walked over to the bathroom to wash my hands and brush my teeth so I wouldn't smell like throw up. My hands were shaking so bad from my little mishap. I hoped that none of the staff here would realize what I'd done.
******
YOU ARE READING
Before He Met Her
Non-Fiction(This is Thomas's Story, read how it started from the beginning!) It was his Freshman year of high school, he wanted to have a fresh new start in high school. He was sick and tired of being the quiet boy who read books in the back of the class. ...
