If Only You Knew

My Love

Lester's POV

I couldn't sleep with the bed feeling so empty. Yawning heavily, I slowly stood from the bed and dragged myself into the nursery where I knew she'd be.

Just like I thought I saw Lee laid out in the recliner. Her head was back and her mouth hung slightly open as she held LJ in her arms. The two were sleep but it was around the time my son woke up.

We brought the twins home two weeks ago and it's been heaven, at least the day was. Lee had to pump for Lester to eat but she breastfed Legend so I made sure to give Junior a bottle so they ate at the same time. While they slept one of us cleaned while the other slept and we'd switch off doing each task. Lee refused to sleep though, she would shower and clean while I slept with the babies and I felt bad but she informed me she couldn't sleep anyway because she knew she'd be right back up again.

Nights were harder. The boys were up every two hours and I hated not getting any sleep. When Courtney first brought Caiden home I was really only there during the day, so I had no idea how often a baby woke up at night. Most times all the boys wanted was to eat but I noticed LJ just liked to feel his mama's warmth. He wouldn't latch so she didn't breastfeed him but after he got a bottle and a change at night, he wouldn't stop crying until he was laying on her chest.

Seeing that the two were sound asleep, I nudged Lee so she could come back to bed, I couldn't sleep without her next to me either. "Lee, baby, get up."

She jerked her eyes open immediately looking down and seeing our sleeping child on her chest. "What happened?" She groggily asked.

"Nothing, come back to bed he's fine."

She studied his face as she monitored his breathing. We noticed he was breathing weirdly when he slept but the doctor let us know that was just him learning to breathe on his own. It looked like he was fighting for air but they said unless he is coughing or moaning in his sleep then he should be fine. I took the doctor's word on it but Lee still watched him as she slept, just in case.

"C'mon."

"I can't. What if the doctor was wrong?" She looked up at me with worry all over her face.

"He's good, we can take him back tomorrow if you still worried but you gotta get some sleep while you can."

"I sleep fine in here." She protested turning her attention back to our son.

"Taleeyah get up, he will be ight and y'all can come back in here when he wakes back up."

We kept the twins' bassinets in Lee's room so they slept with us, but Lee decided to bring them in here if it was her turn to be up with them so she wouldn't wake me up. I feel bad because she said she started that because she saw how agitated I got in the middle of the night. I was trying to work on it but I absolutely hated being woken up.

She reluctantly stood and I listened to Junior make small noises as he nudged closer to her body. Lee followed me into the bedroom and softly laid him down by her side of the bed before climbing in with me.

We laid down for maybe thirty minutes before I heard Legend crying. Without saying anything Lee slowly sat up trying to take care of him but I stopped her. She was always ready to get up as soon as they made a noise but when it came to Legend, sometimes he just wanted his binky back in his mouth.

I tried that but he still cried so I quickly stood and took him from his bassinet feeling that he was wet. Surprisingly, Lester stayed asleep while I changed his brother on the other side of the room. After that, I carried my little one into the kitchen grabbing a bottle from the fridge.