My Biggest Obsession

𝐍𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧.

♪ Consume - Chase Atlantic ♪

| Ivory |

Silence; some people say it calms themselves when they're stressed, some people say they hate it. For some people it's the sound of peace, for others it's what triggers their anxiety. I used to like it. And sometimes, I admit I need it. But I'm always on the edge when there's silence, probably because it's always the calm before the storm.

The noises have stopped for a few seconds, maybe minutes now. Aace should've come. He should've knocked. I want to get out. I wanted to see what's happening. But for the first time in years, I was afraid.

The gunshots, the Russian voice, the fact that they came into my own place to get me, the smell of blood that creeps through the door, everything. Suddenly, everything looked like I was back there again. But Aace was here right? He was protecting me. He couldn't-

Five knocks were heard on my door. "Ivory. Open the door, now. I've been calling you for five minutes and you're not answering. I swear if you don't open it I'm going to break it." I heard him shouting.

I cleared my throat.

"I'm fine... Fine, I'll open the door now." I sighed as I got on my feet, and it was like I was finally out of my trance, I saw him standing there nonchalantly as if nothing happened.

"I got the fuckers." He smirked through his teeth.

"You fucking asshole! I thought they killed you!" Out of fear and worry, I hit his chest with my fists.

"I killed them first. You really thought they could kill me so easily ?" He scoffed, "You underestimate me, tesoro."

I hit his chest another time, "It's not funny asshole!"

"Maybe not, though I appreciate that you were worried for me." He added, chuckling.

I took a deep breath, closing my eyes. I desperately wanted, needed, and I had to take a shower.
I felt Aace's fingers on my wrist, right where my pulse was located.

"Hey. I was just joking. Your heartbeat is pretty high right now." He noticed, probably because he could feel my pulse beating right under his fingers.

I scoffed. "How surprising."

"Did you take something?"

"I'm not under cocaine if that's what you're asking."

"Okay." He nodded quietly, as he studied me. "Then you need to calm the fuck down."

"I'm perfectly calm." I gritted through my teeth.

"Don't bullshit me. Do you want or need something? Water?"

"I'm fine! I... I don't need anything. I don't want anything! Stop worrying!" I assured, yelling at him, hoping he'd listen.

"No. You're not fine." His hands found my shoulders, guiding me on the bed. "You're going to sit now and calm down." He affirmed, letting me know I didn't have a chance to argue.

Once I was sitting, he kneeled down in front of me putting two fingers on my wrist where he could feel my pulse.

"Your pulse is too high, Ivory. And I'm serious. It needs to slow down okay?"

I wanted to fight him but instead I just nodded.

"Listen, I know you're feeling anxious right now but you have no reason to. They can't get you now, and I'm fine. Nothing happened. I'm not injured, everything's perfectly fine." I could hear him trying to reassure me the best he could, "And sometimes it feels like that anxiety just creeps around all of your heart and consumes it completely. Like anxiety is the only thing you can feel inside you at the moment. Right? Do you feel this sometimes?" He was careful with his words, trying to not brusque me.

I nodded again. "Yes."

"Okay. But I don't want you to let that happen. I don't want the anxiety to consume you from the inside. Because if you do, you'll probably have a complete panic attack and I don't want you to have that. And I don't want your lungs to close because of all the overwhelming feelings. So you're going to try to breathe okay?" He searched my eyes, "Ivory look at me."

And I did. My eyes met his.

"Can you give me three things you can see? Can you do that for me ?"

I looked around me.

"The... Lamp on the... Nightstand. Our... Closet. And... You. I... I can see you."

"Yes, good. Now two things you can hear?"

"Well... It's silent. But... The sound of the tick... Of the clock, in the kitchen. And... Your voice. I can hear that." I listed, trying to keep my focus on him.

"Can you give me one more thing you can touch ?" He seemed concerned, for real this time.

"Y... Your fingers. I can touch them." I slowly brushed my fingers on top of his, unconsciously seeking comfort.

"You did good. See? Your heart calmed. I'm proud of you."

"I'm sorry. I'm not usually like this. I-"

"Stop apologizing. Tomorrow I'll pretend nothing happened if it makes you feel better. But now, it's still the night. You should get some sleep. You're tired Ivory. In every way."

He took me by my shoulders, and gently laid me down on the bed. I didn't protest. I let him do it. I felt my eyelids getting heavier, until I couldn't resist anymore.

And before I fell asleep, I heard him whisper, "Sleep well, tesoro."

✰

"They really have no shame apparently." I heard Aace's voice coming from his office, "At our fucking place now, then what? I want the name of the three fuckers I caught. I can guarantee that no such thing will happen again." He informed everyone, and I could hear the seriousness in his voice.

"You'll have that. I promise I'll find their names." Erin vowed.

"Son, I think you should calm down-"

Aace cuts his father off, "Calm down? You don't tell me to calm down when a fucker is sending his employees under my fucking roof to get my fucking wife!"

"Since when do you call her your wife-" I recognized Matteo's voice.

"I think it's not the right time to ask if you want my opinion." Nate added, letting him know that he should keep his questions to himself at that moment.

"What a genius you are, Nate. Really the new Sherlock Holmes." Aurelia's sarcastic laugh echoed through the door.

"I think that the situation we're in should preoccupy us more. Aace, you need to keep an eye on her." Luca advised seriously.

"Do I have to remind you that the woman I married is Ivory fucking Carillo? What am I supposed to do? Put a collar on her and watch everything she does all the time?"

"I didn't say that." Luca defended himself.

"Thanks Goodness you didn't. I promise I'll do what I have to do to keep her safe, don't worry. I'm going to find a solution for all of this bullshit. Whatever it costs. But first, I need all of you to leave my office. I need a moment alone."

I listened to everyone leaving his office, before he slammed the door.

I should leave him alone, but questions filled my mind and I wanted answers, I mean real ones.

Aace could try everything he wanted, but he couldn't promise me there won't be a risk in the future.

And at this moment, I realized that I was the only person able to protect myself.

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𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞.

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