Uncapable

MISSING

The scariest thing about distance is that you don't know wether they'll miss you or forget you.

-Nicholas Sparks

I decided to ignore and distance myself from Ryuji. It's been a week now, hindi rin kami nagkikita. It's also our busy week dahil pasahan na ng mga performance task na binagsak sa amin ng sabay-sabay. Ang hectic ng schedules namin kaya malabong magkita kami ni Ryuji, malayo rin ang STEM building kaya mas lalo talagang malabo.

I feel a bit sad because I'm distancing myself from him, though wala naman syang alam, I'm still scared. We might be not in the same page. Nakakatakot yon.

It's friday, the last day for this week. Isang performance task nalang din ang kailangan naming tapusin then we will prepare for our upcoming exams after namin maperform ang musical play namin.

Since it's the last day I decided to go to the garden.

I kinda miss his presence, hindi ko alam.

As I was walking to the path that leads to the garden may nakita akong pearl bracelet sa damuhan. Kinuha ko ito and wondered kung nahulog ba ito ni nino, probably nahulog ito. No one would throw this away, ang ganda kaya. Sayang ito.

Sinusuri ko ang bracelet nang marining ko ang pamilyar na boses ng lalaki which made me froze in my position.

"That's mine." His tone was cold which sent shiver on my spine. Galit ba sya? Probably, binlock mo e.

I turned to see him. His face remained blank, ang mata nyang kulay kayumanggi na palaging mukhang umaasa, ngayon ay mukha ng nasasaktan. Umawang ang labi ko sa hindi inaasahang emosyon na nabasa sa kanyang mga mata. The bags under his eyes are also visible.

Pero, sa kanya itong bracelet? Eh pang babae to ah? Ah sa girlfriend nya. Nga naman. It's not like we shared deep realtionship, we didn't. Pumait ang nararamdaman ko.

"Ah! Sayo pala to? Oh" Sabay abot ko sakanya ng pearl bracelet nya. I shouldn't be feeling what I am feeling right now. I am not even sure if we're friends.

Ano ba kami?

The week that passed, walang araw na hindi ko inisip kung ano ang meron kami ni Ryuji, dala na rin iyon ng pag kwestiyon sa akin ng aking mga magulang. Isa pa, I saw him with a girl, nagyayakapan nga e! Impossibleng hindi nya jowabels yon!

His face changed turning it into a scowl. Parang naguluhan ata sa inakto ko? Ewan.

"Let's talk." After throwing me such scowl and told me to talk with him, inumwestra nya ang daan patungo sa garden. Sumunod naman ako. Maybe... We need a little talk? If it goes deep, I'll imeddiately go.

As much as I wanted to form a relationship with Ryuji, my mind wouldn't let me. Para bang pinipigilan ako, kasi maraming bagay ang naglalayo saakin sakanya. Isa na ang mga magulang ko. Sa paraan palang ng pagsabi nila saakin na idate ko si Ryuji at ang mismong salita nila, napapaurong na ako.

I don't want to force something that is not needed to be forced.

Kung para saiyo, para sa iyo.

I have always believe in that, just like how I used to make myself believe that my parents love me.

Hindi ko talaga matanggal ang pait na nararamdaman ko para sa kanila sa sistema ko.

We're at the garden now. Nakatalikod sya sa akin habang nakatitig ako sa likod nya. I needed to remind myself that he has a girlfriend, dinala nya pa nga rito at nagyakapan pa nga sila! That sight of him hugging a girl hunted me even through my sleep.

"You blocked me." It was not a question from him, he declares it. I was taken aback by his tone, he sound hurt. "Why?" He turned to me now, nagka-tagpo na ang mga mata.