Uncapable

WHY

Kiss me until I forget how terrified I am of everything wrong with my life.

-Bea Taplin |The Kiss

Lahat ng tao may takot, sa heights, sa mga insekto, at sa lahat ng bagay malaki man o maliit. Pati nga sa pag-ibig-may takot rin.

But, why there are still people do love, and fall in love? Why do they still believe in love?

Because love makes the world go round. Pag-ibig? Lahat kayang magmahal at lahat deserve mahalin.

Despite of how my parents treated me I still live my life believing about love. Bakit? Kasi nandito ako e. Even if I'm not sure, I know I was made out of love. Siguro, nahihirapan lang silang iparamdam sa akin iyon.

A part of me would like to belive the idea.

Wala namang masama kung maniwala ako sa pagmamahal, hindi ba?

Kasi kung, oo. Despite of any reasons, I would still believe in love. My parents wouldn't be together kung hindi sila nagmamahalan or so I thought.

I am currently in my room, preparing myself for the worst scenario. Hindi ko alam, para kasing may masamang ibabalita ang mga magulang ko, and I wanted to be prepared as much as possible. Ayokong makita nila akong umiiyak.

I may believe that my parents love but I can't deny the fact that they made me feel the other way around. Hindi naman siguro totoo iyon. Sana.

I already unblocked Ryuji and he immediately chatted me that he's so greatful. Wala ring palya ang pagre-remind nya kung kumain naba ako, mag-ingat daw ako, matulog daw ako ng mahimbing. Parang jologs na magtext-mate lang sa highschool. Ang corny pero, nakakaramdam ako ng saya e.

My parents told me that we'll have a dinner together, kasi may importante daw silang sasabihin which made my heart raced, kinakabahan.

Sa isang malapit na five star restaurant ang ibinigay ni Mommy na lokasyon sa akin kaya naman nag gayak na ako para maka alis na. It's already 5:30 in the evening at papaalis na ako. Mom told me that the dinner will start at exactly 6:00 pero kailangan ko daw agahan. Sila naman ay nags-stay sa isang hotel dahil kakauwi lang nila galing sa isang business trip sa Hong Kong, hassle naraw kasi kung uuwi pa sila e, babalik padaw sila para sa isa nanamang business trip.

Me, on the other hand didn't really care. Bukod kasi sa sanay naman na ako, wala naman akong magagawa kung ganon ang gusto nila. I'm just their mere child.

Nakarating na ako sa resto. "Reservation for Vergara's? I am Aurora Vergara" Saad ko sa waiter doon. Ang sabi ni Mom sa mahabang text nya ay nakareserve na sila ng table, sabihin ko nalang daw ang apilido namin.

Sinamahan ako ng waiter at agad naman akong sumunod sa kanya. Nang makita ko ang table na nakareserve sa amin ay umakyat ang kaba sa aking puso. It was a table for six. Ibig sabihin anim kaming nandito? Pwede naman kasing table for four? Or three? Bakit six?

Umupo na ako at nagsimula ng magdasal sa kung ano man ang mangyayari. This is new, first time magpatawag nila Mommy ng ganitong dinner and I was never involve in their business, made me so bothered by this sudden "dinner"

Nakapikit pa ako ng marinig ko ang aking mga magulang na dumating, agad naman akong dumilat. "Mom, Dad. Good evening po" I politely greeted them. They look like they're arguing.

"Alonzo, do you really think this will work?" Mom uttered, hesitantly. I don't know what are they talking about, wala rin akong ideya.

"This will work. We just need to convince her" Dad replied to Mom. The mere mention of "her" made me shiver, I was so sure thats me. But, they'll convince for what? Kinabahan ako.