A Losing Game

32. Christmas 🎄🎁

Authors note:
There are two references of each of my other books in this chapter.

So keep an eye out!

(Aurelia's Pov)
"Theo you know I'm never gonna kiss or shag or anything."

My heart was pounding.

"I'm at this point where that doesn't matter.
My feelings for you go beyond that."

"You don't mean-"

"I do. Yes it'll be hard, but I'm willing to live that way if it means I can be with you. We'll still hug, hold hands. It's just the other stuff we won't do."

"Theo you've put me in a really tough position."

"I know you're not ready, so don't see this as me asking you out. See this as me saying if you ever are ready for a boyfriend I'm here."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I can wait as long as you need. And if theres another guy you like that's fine. But if you do like me, I feel the same way. "

"Can I sleep on it?"

"Of course. Goodnight." He said getting up.
"Wait." I said grabbing his arm.
"Stay the night."

Theo smiled, and hopped back in bed.

What Theo said is a lot to process. He's aware I'd never kiss or shag him, and he still wants to be with me.

But that's not what I should be thinking about. What I should be thinking about is if I see Theo that way.

He treats me like a princess, he goes out of his way for others, he's a hard worker, respectful, protective, sweet. Theo actually is a good man.

What more can I want out of a guy?

Theres two issues though.

Theo's too nice.
He'd never put me in my place.

Because I've had such little human interaction, sometimes I do things that aren't morally right.

But Theo would never tell me, and I'd hate to walk all over him even if it was unintentional.

Theo's also very unserious.
I can be vulnerable around him, but I don't know if he has the capability to make me feel better.

I know he can sometimes feel uncomfortable when I talk about my trauma.

Of course he'll never tell me to stop, but what Mattheo said to me earlier today for example, Theo could never say.

Theo's mind doesn't work that way.

But he's perfect in every other way. He'd never make me feel bad about myself, he'd always be there for me, and the fact that he likes me enough to give up sex and kissing?

That means he truly does like me for me.

Is there any other man out there like that?
I don't know.

Enzo and I sorta have something too.

He said he couldn't give up kissing or sex, but things have changed a lot.

Who knows how Enzo feels now.

But I also like Theo.

But would Enzo got jealous of Theo?

Maybe Enzo would be okay with it.

Fuck this is too much.

(Theodore's Pov)
That didn't go so bad.