A Losing Game

37. Mixed Emotions 😡☹️

(Aurelia's Pov)
January 3rd
We go back to Hogwarts today. We haven't seen Theo since the banquet.

I understand why Theo's mad, and I don't blame him. I feel terrible. The guilts been taking over.

Theo's always been lighthearted, funny, always laughing, he knows how to make the room happy. His energy is pure.

It's my favorite part of him.

But seeing someone who's always happy
angry for the first time is heartbreaking.

Especially when you're the one who caused it.

Out of all the guys he's put in the most effort for me. And I know I'm not easy to deal with, but it didn't matter to Theo.

How could I fucking hurt a guy like that?
This is nauseating, it's all I think about.

And it's not getting better.

As for Enzo and I, we haven't talked about the kiss. I don't know why I did it, but it felt right in the moment.

And of course I'm regretful. Not because I kissed Enzo, but because Theo saw it.

Enzo and I also told Mattheo and Draco about our talk. They know Enzo asked me out.

In a way I feel like I was settling for Theo, but he wasn't who I actually wanted.

And when Enzo asked me out, all these emotions struck me.

Then I kissed him.

"I'm gonna head to my dorm. Hopefully Theo will be there." Said Mattheo.

"Aurelia can I walk you to your dorm?"
Asked Enzo.

I hesitated.
He wanted to talk about the kiss.

"Okay."

We headed to my dorm.
"You've been avoiding it." Said Enzo.
"I know."

"I need to know what we are. Aurelia I asked you out, and you kissed me."

"Yeah." I said.

"Do you regret it?" He asked.
"I'm still tryna process."

"Aurelia I don't wanna keep pushing, but what's gonna happen with us? Do you wanna date me? Do you wanna be friends?"

"I don't wanna decide anything until things get sorted with Theo."

(Lorenzo's Pov)
I haven't stopped thinking about that kiss.
Was the kiss incredible?
Yes.

And I'm in shock. After everything she's been through, after her saying that she wasn't ready, she did it. And I'm so proud of her.

But there's a major elephant in the room.
Theo.
Now that's rough.

I'm not mad at Theo, he didn't overreact.
He was in love with her, and Aurelia told him she'd date him. Then she kissed me.

Aurelia was incredibly wrong for that.
But I can't tell her she was wrong for it.

Her kissing someone is a huge step in her journey. She made so much progress with it.
If I tell her she shouldn't have done it, that's a step back.

She's never gonna wanna kiss anyone again.

But fuck.