Corrupted Constructs

Chapter 22

It feels like time is standing still and Clarke's ears are ringing, drowning out every sane thought.

Fuck, Lexa loved her. Lexa was in love with her. And there was nothing Clarke wanted more, yet there was nothing Clarke wanted less.

Clarke was painfully aware that they were on borrowed time. And she wasn't ready to admit to even herself that she was irrevocably and utterly in love with Alexandria Evergreen as well. A criminal. Her suspect. Her target.

She couldn't be in love with her. It was unprofessional, unwise, yet undeniable.

Clarke feels her face pale and she can tell Lexa's happy, relaxed expression starts to tense into worry with a glimpse of hurt.

She had to say something. She had to do something.

"Are you... okay?" Lexa asks hesitantly, unable to hide the hurt in her voice.

"Lex..." Clarke starts, cupping the brunette's cold, rosy cheeks in her hands and just looking into her eyes. Ocea blue studying emerald green, and emerald green studying ocean blue right back.

Then, Clarke kisses the brunette again, hoping that she can convey her feelings through this kiss without having to voice them out loud. Because she could not bring herself to do that. Not now.

Alexandria is the first to pull away and when their eyes meet again, it seems like the hurt has left green. So, Clarke kisses the tip of Lexa's cold nose and whispers "Happy New Year, Lex." And Lexa covers Clarke's hands with her own before responding, "Happy New Year, darling."

--

Clarke had seemed so tense recently, both at work and when they were at home and Lexa couldn't explain it. She couldn't figure out what was going on with her girl, and Clarke clearly didn't want to discuss it with her, so that left Lexa with little to go off of. But that didn't mean she didn't want to fix it.

It was now halfway through January, two weeks after the New Year's party, which had been a raging success. There was snow outside, and the weather had been well below freezing while the sky was often grey, which usually didn't improve anyone's mood either. 'Usually' being the keyword here, because Lexa's mood had been sunny and bright for weeks now. Ever since her and the blonde had started seeing each other.

Because Clarke had been the cause for her own chipper mood, Lexa wanted to be the cause for the blonde to be relaxed and happy as well, so naturally, she decided to invite the blonde over so she could take care of her. No, not in a sexual way (although she wouldn't be opposed), just in an 'I care for you' type of way.

On Saturday, Lexa spends all day making her preparations and getting everything ready for when her partner is coming over at 5 PM. And at 5 PM exactly, just as Lexa preferred, her doorbell rings and the beautiful golden locks covered with a red, knitted hat, appear on her little doorbell camera.

When the blonde reaches her front door, Lexa greets her with a kiss and an embrace, she helps the blonde take off her coat, scarf, hat, and gloves, and she leads her past the massage bed that's occupying the middle of the living room and into the bedroom where a robe is splayed out on the bed.

Clarke's clear confusion at the massage bed and the robe makes Lexa chuckle in delight and she says, "Get changed, my darling and join me in the living room?"

She asks it more like a question, giving the blonde the option to opt out, but curiosity must win, because not even five minutes later, Clarke walks in dressed in the robe and Lexa points her arms towards the massage bed, indicating she wants the blonde to take place on it.