Corrupted Constructs

Chapter 24

Similar thoughts from earlier plagued Lexa as she tried to wash the smell of that holding cell that stubbornly seemed to keep clinging to her skin and hair off her. At some point, she had sunk down to the shower floor and tears kept flooding from her burning eyes as water cascaded down on and around her, even though she'd promised the blonde she wouldn't shed a single tear for her. It's just that she was overwhelmed and exhausted.

And really, Lexa couldn't even begin to describe the way she was feeling right now. Hurt. Betrayed. Heartbroken. Angry. Sad. Hopeless. An endless mix of emotions. And she felt so incredibly stupid for having fallen for Clarke and her charm even though she had known from the start something was off about her.

When she had found the blonde searching through her things she had let it go. Twice. She hadn't questioned her more about the gun or the handcuffs that clearly went along with it, looking back. The undecorated apartment had raised many questions she'd never asked, especially when it was still undecorated after months of living in it. The name with the heart and the text messages, the weird questions that come to think of it were clearly some sort of interrogation.

Lexa had chosen to believe all of Clarke's weak explanations, and she had even chosen to lie to herself about it all because she had wanted to believe what Clarke said was the truth. She had lied to herself because she liked, no loved the blonde so much that there couldn't possibly be any deal breakers.

Except there were.

Clarke had been cheating on her all along, or well, technically Clarke had been cheating on Agent Collins with her, so that was deal breaker number one. The thought of the blonde touching her after having touched that man made her skin crawl. So did the thought of the blonde kissing her with those delectable lips of hers after she had kissed the shaggy-haired Agent.

A flash of a memory appears briefly in front of Lexa's eyes. The memory of their restaurant date, where Clarke had returned from the restroom with a blush on her face and lips that looked... Lexa didn't even want to think about it. The fact that the blonde had sex with her at all now made Lexa feel used.

Then, right after, that asshole of an agent had walked by their table, hurling a slur their way. That's what she recognized him from.

Lexa was ashamed to admit to even herself that if the cheating or forcing her to be 'the other woman' had been the only thing the blonde had done, she would've eventually moved passed it just so she could stay with the blonde. But everything, EVERYTHING had been one big web of lies aimed to get Lexa to prison.

And the worst part about that was that Clarke had chosen to believe anyone but her about what she'd been accused of. No matter how much she had opened up to the blonde and had shared her deepest secrets. Things she hadn't even shared with Costia or her sister.

Somehow, Clarke believing she was capable of such crimes was the worst part.

For fuck's sake, she had even cooked for her. Something she hadn't done in literal years and hadn't planned on doing ever again. She'd pushed aside years of trauma just so she could see the blonde smile, even for only a few seconds.

What a fool she had been.

Clarke was probably smiling and laughing away with her fiancé at her own home this very moment while recounting stories of Lexa's gullibly idiocy.

Once Lexa's smooth skin has shriveled up and the water has long run cold, Lexa finally manages to gather herself enough to wash herself clean and step out of the shower and when she looks around, the bathroom looks empty, but clean.

Anya must have cleaned up around her while she was in the shower and Lexa hadn't even noticed, but she was eternally grateful. Because now, at least one room in her house wasn't completely wrecked.