Crime, Betrayal, and Love (A Seventeen Street Racing AU)

LXXI | Stargazing

"Sometimes I think you're trying to get yourself killed," Jisoo sighs, rubbing her temple. "Why would you go out by yourself? And especially to such a dangerous area?"

"It's not dangerous. Well, not that dangerous. But that's not the point. Minghao-"

"That's my point." Jisoo folds her arms across her chest. "What if you got hurt? What if Bambam followed you? What if you cut yourself on a dirty nail and then got tetanus?"

"Then I'd go to the hospital and get a shot," I scoff, rolling my eyes. "Look, I know it wasn't a smart decision, but I wanted to visit while I had the chance. And if it had been Bambam following me, I would have sent him over the ledge."

Jisoo joins me on the couch, slowly shaking her head. "You make me feel like a paranoid mom sometimes, you know that, right? Next time, call me; I would have gone with you."

I chuckle at Jisoo. "Well, Mom, I'm sorry I freaked you out. In my defense, I never had to think about someone worrying about me before I met you." I scooch closer to Jisoo and lie my head on her shoulder.

"Ohh, Y/N. So, tell me about that bastard."

"He's so audacious! I just don't understand why he can't get it through his head that I want nothing to do with him. There has to be something missing in his brain! How does he not get that what he did affects me in every aspect of what I do?"

As I rant, Jisoo runs her hand through my hair. "I do think he feels bad. I'm not saying you should forgive him. But-" Jisoo rues. "You've changed a lot just in the four years we've been friends." I sit up to meet Jisoo's soft gaze. "Hell, you've changed a lot since we moved in with Seventeen. I haven't seen you get close to anybody as quickly as with Mingyu. Maybe Minghao has changed as well."

"I don't care if he changed. Every time I see his stupid face- ugh! It reminds me of that night, and I feel so... so small and helpless."

"I'm sorry," Jisoo says.

"He said he liked me. When we were teenagers," I scoff. It's been eight years since I was sixteen, but sometimes it feels like yesterday. "I liked him too. And I don't think I ever got rid of those feelings until he showed up again."

That's why I kept his ring: in the hope that he would come back and give me an excuse for why he did what he did. It feels like some sick joke played on me by the universe. What I wished for finally came true, and I have nothing but pure hatred toward him for it. But he deserves it.

"He was awful. And maybe he still is." Jisoo places her hand on my shoulder, squeezing it. "But you're hurting yourself by keeping everything pent up. You can't live under the same roof with him while harboring everything."

"I know that," I whisper.

"Do you?"

"Maybe. I don't know."

Jisoo hugs me. I sit in her embrace silently, but my mind reels with conflict.

I don't want to leave. But I'm not sure if I can forgive Minghao. I doubt I can even put everything to the side and forget about it. Then, I think of Mingyu, and it feels impossible to leave. All for a man I'm not even dating. I feel so silly. I feel like my teenage self again.

Despite everything happening with Seventeen, all the threats to them and me, and all the changes happening, my main worry is him. And Minghao is sticking a knife into that. I liked Minghao, too, and then he betrayed me. Will Mingyu do the same thing?

I hate myself for even thinking about him doing something like that, but I have to worry about it to keep myself, and Jisoo, safe.

"What if I don't know what to do?"