DENYING (Henry's POV)

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Henry’s POV

  I’m out right now, at the café outside the school, but not that far.

I decided to meet up with Shaan to make it clear to him that I’m not going home no matter what he does.

I also told him to act normal, he doesn’t have to address me by my title. We’ll meet and we’ll talk like friends, and not like a master and a servant.

  Are you alright? Shaan asked me, he’s staring at me as if he was reading my soul. Is there a problem?

I was so surprised that he immediately noticed that.

I suddenly wondered if I am really that obvious.

  But I shook my head. Nothing. I’m okay. Then I said. It’s a lie, of course. I just haven’t had enough sleep lately because.. I have to study hard. And another lie.

Well, it’s true that I haven’t been getting enough sleep lately, but it wasn’t because of my studies.

The truth is, it’s because of Alex.

We’re still at war until now and I really don’t feel good about it.

It’s stressing the hell out of me.

  Then I sighed deeply and clears throat. Anyway, I decided to talk to you to tell you that.. I’m really not coming with you. I firmly said to Shaan while shaking my head. So go back. Don’t waste your time here. Tell them that I’ll come home, too, but not for now. Please let me be on my own. I just want to enjoy my life, at least for this school year. I’ll go back when I’m finished here.

  Is it because of him? Shaan asked.

  What? I asked back, I was surprised.

  Is it.. Shaan clears throat first and then asked, Is he the reason why you can’t get to like Princess Martha?

  I scoffed, then shook my head. Just a clarification.. I already told her that I don’t like her, that I only see her as a friend or as a sister even before I came here, even before.. I met him. I told Shaan firmly.

  I’ve talked to some of the students from your school, Shaan paused a bit, he looked straight into me. They told me that he’s a bad influence to you.

  What? I asked while frowning. Who are they? Who told you that? I asked again angrily.

  Shaan shook his head. It doesn’t matter. Then he took a sip from his coffee cup.

  For your information.. Alex is not like that. He’s a good guy. He’s nice and he’s kind. I said to Shaan. And also.. he take his studies seriously. He’s responsible. So all those bad things you heard about him, they aren’t true.

Shaan didn’t say anything, but he’s listening, so I continue..

  He’s never been a bad influence to me. In fact.. he’s taking care of me. He helps me with everything. He’s always there for me. So how can you call someone like him bad influence? I took a deep breath and added, He’s funny, too. He’s making me happy, I-I mean.. he’s making me laugh. He’s.. special. He stands out. He shines in everything he does. Can’t you see that?

  He looks.. ordinary to me. Shaan said.

  And that really pissed me off. What the fuck was that? Are you blind? Why can’t you see how special he is? I asked him while frowning.

  What is your relationship with him? Then, I was very shocked, when Shaan already asked me directly.

  I swallowed, then I shook my head. We’re just.. I paused and clears throat first. We’re just enjoying each other’s company. Was what I said, because..

How should I put exactly the thing we have when we never talked about it?

One night, we suddenly found each other kissing, and that led us to taste each other, then that's it, we started to act like.. as if we're in a relationship since, but without a label.

  You’re in love with him. He then said, it wasn’t sound like a question, he sounds certain of it.

  I was stunned for a second, then, No! I said while shaking my head vigorously. I just.. I just like him.. so much. Then I faked a laugh.

  Shaan nodded. If you say so. But he’s obviously not believing in me.

In all of a sudden, that also made me.. not believing myself, too.

I gripped on my coffee cup tightly, taking deep breaths, as I was thinking if what’s really I’m feeling for Alex.

  This can’t be love. No! This isn’t love.

That’s what I want myself to believe in.

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