The Savior

28. Victoria and Quidditch jerseys

The end of the Quidditch season was coming quick and as much as Victoria had hoped Ravenclaw did not make it into the finals. The match this weekend was between Slytherin and Gryffindor. It would be the ugliest match of the season to see who would go up against Hufflepuff for the Quidditch cup. James couldn't help but rave on and on about how grateful he was that he didn't have to go up against Ravenclaw in the Quidditch cup this year. Everyone had had enough of his rambling.

"Hi, love I was wondering-"

"If it has anything to do with quidditch the answer is no" Victoria snapped not even looking up as she scribbled down the last few sentences of her essay.

"Whaaaat? No. No, nothing about quidditch" James chuckled awkwardly heat creeping up his neck. "Actually, I think I forgot my book in the dorm. I better go get that." He scooped up his belongings from the table. In an attempt to save his ego, he shoved his jersey into his bag before she could see it. Not that she was paying attention anyways. 

James walked back to the dorm with a dejected expression. He felt sad and embarrassed. She finally got tired of him he thought. It didn't take long. The negative thoughts swirled around his mind, and he couldn't help but think about all those nights they ran around the castle. He missed that. He missed when things were easier and there wasn't so much pressure. 

He wasn't the only one sulking in the dorm though. Remus sat across the room with a stressed look on his face. His hair was a mess as he ran his fingers through it over and over again. 

"What's got you stressed this time moony?" James asked almost bored as he tried to distract himself from his own problems. 

"I kissed her. In the hospital wing when she woke up, we kissed and I told her I'm in love with her and we haven't said anything about it since, but I don't know what to do." Remus sighed frustratedly. They shared a bed since she was staying at their dorm, and he was the main one taking care of her. Maybe she didn't feel a need to talk about it. To her it may have been obvious what they were, but Remus felt like he was losing his mind without a straight answer or idea. 

James upon hearing everything that happened was excited for his friend but couldn't help to envy that was crawling up inside him. He wanted to be in his position terribly. 

"Just ask her. That's all any of us can do. You kissed and by the sound of it she seemed to like it maybe you should just bite the bullet and ask her yourself. Don't wait for her to do it." James said in his most encouraging motivation voice he could muster. Remus chuckled in response.

"Well now that you have helped me with my problem what wrong with you?" He asked with a small grin on his face. After all what possible problem could the great James Potter have?

"I think she's bored of me finally. All my rambling and talking and just me." James said looking down awkwardly at the room around him trying to pretend it didn't bother him. 

"Sounds like your problem is worse than mine, though I doubt it's true." Remus said with a laugh trying to lighten the mood. James shrugged it off before changing from his school uniform and leaving the dorm.

Maybe James needed to take his own advice. Maybe he needed to stop trying to guess where he stood with Victoria and just say something already. His birthday was coming up, the last two quidditch matches of the season were approaching, she was recovering greatly. He needed to stop fucking around and just confront her about everything. How he felt, what he thought, where he wanted things to go. He needed to just let everything out. 

He couldn't help all the thoughts swimming his mind as his legs carried him subconsciously to the astronomy tower. He walked up the stairs to find a figure sitting at the edge it was obviously Victoria. 

"Funny seeing you here." He said as he moved towards the edge taking a seat next to her.

"Just needed to think." She hummed in response. She didn't bother to look at him. She felt guilty for blowing him off earlier and when he didn't return, she realized she had messed up. They sat in silence for a while watching the sun start to set and the sky become a mixture of colors. Without much thought and without saying a word she shuffled closer to the boy laying her head on his shoulder. He stiffed slightly as the contact not expecting it. 

"It's not fair" He whispered sadly. Victoria picked her head up looking at him with questioning eyes. 

"If this is about earlier, I am sorry James. I didn't mean to upset you-" She spoke worried as James shook his head. "I just have been stressed lately with classes and OWLS-" She attempted to continue when James cut her off.

"I really care for you and you're confusing me. I get that you said you were unsure, and I know I haven't been the best person to you but..." his voice faded off as he tried to bite back tears that were welling up in his eyes. He couldn't look at her. 

"James..."

"I'm crazy about you that much is obvious, but I have no idea how you feel ever. I can't tell if this is ever going to be anything or if I'm waiting on nothing. So please if you don't want this just tell me already." He sighed before finally looking at the girl. He got everything off his chest the ball was in her court, and he was ready to be turned down. 

"I didn't mean to hurt you.." She sighed in frustration. She was angry with herself the past few months leaving her exhausted. She had finally regained her strength and picked the weight back up. She was getting back into her music and her studies, but she felt terribly unprepared for Owls. It didn't help that her powers had recently been acting up and she was struggling to control them when before they seemed perfectly fine. 

She was angry at herself for making James feel unworthy. She would be lying if she said she hadn't completely fallen head of heels for the boy. He was the muse of almost every song she had written since they met that first night in the tower, but she was too nervous to tell him that. But maybe that's what got her here in the first place. That fear of being hurt or tossed aside. That fear put her in this position at this moment and she had to pick would it ruin the potential her and James had or would she take the chance.

The silence between them was long and with every passing moment James felt his heart break a little more taking it as a sign of rejection as the seconds ticked away. Victoria sat there trying to collect her thoughts and string the right words together. She had one chance to get this right and she wasn't going to let time rush her into screwing it up. And just when James was contemplating leaving, she finally spoke. 

"You're like the color yellow. You're bright and warm and all things exciting and fun. Kinda like the sun." she paused looking at him as he continued to stare out into the sky that was slowly fading into darkness. 

"Being with you is like being bathed in sunlight by the lake on a summer day. Or the feeling of excitement when you hear your favorite song on the radio." She laughed as she tried to explain the way he made her feel though none of the words seemed to come out right. James looked at her with soft eyes that searched her face looking for any possibility of a lie but when he saw none he relaxed as he smiled as her. 

"You are the kind of guy people write songs about. The kind of guy someone would die just for a chance of being looked at by you. You're my sun; my muse. I'm sorry I didn't say anything sooner. I'm sorry I let fear get in the way of everything. I-" 

Before she could finish James pressed his lips to hers in a searing kiss. He didn't need the big declaration of love or the continuous apologies, he needed her. He didn't need the fire or the energy he just needed the reassurance that there was a chance. The reassurance that she wasn't bored or tired of him and as her scent enveloped his senses, he felt intoxicated by her presence and James knew he was too far gone. 

"I want you to wear my jersey tomorrow. At the game I want everyone to know you're mine and I am completely yours." James said breathlessly as he looked at her with stars in his eyes. The boy was in love. James was completely, whole heartedly, irrevocably in love with Victoria Hearts.