In Every Hues

Chapter 16

Selfie

"Sorry ulit..." I trailed silently when we got out of the car.

Hinaplos niya ang buhok at namulsa. "Mind your temper. Hindi lahat pwede mong madaan sa gano'n."

I mocked his words while my eyes were rolling. Sinipa niya 'ko na natatawa kong inilagan.

"Nakakapikon yung mukha niya, eh!"

"Akala ko ba nagsorry na, Yohan?" marahan niyang tanong at umangat ang isang kilay.

The cold breeze whiffed our hair. Namulsa rin ako dahil nilalamig na. Inaantok na rin ako dahil medyo tinamaan na ako ng beer. Pero hindi pa naman lasing.

"Oo nga! Pero pwede pa ring magreklamo, ah?" Napangiwi ako.

"Huwag mo nang ulitin," malamig niyang saad.

"Oo nga, paulit-ulit naman..."

"Huwag mo na lang silang pansinin. Ganoon talaga ang mga 'yon."

"Nasanay ka na?" Humilig ako sa sasakyan. "Aba'y nakapabuti naman!" sarkastikong dagdag ko pa.

"Kailangan..."

He crossed his arms as he rested his back on my car, and placed his foot on it. Tumingala siya at napapalunok na pumikit.

My lips parted as I stared at the movement of his Adam's apple. His dark hair fell back as he parted his lips. The tip of his nose shone when the street light etched his face. Even his lips glistened when he licked it.

Triple damn! What would it feel if... nah! I shouldn't go there.

"Hindi naman kasi basta-basta ako makakaalis. Gustuhin ko man, pero paano ang latin honors? Tsaka alam mong iyan na lang ang kumacover ng tuition ko."

He's opening up. It made something sparked inside me. I'm so eager hear him and let him know that I'm listening.

This is what I lacked back then. I wasn't his safe place when he needed to let out his thoughts and let him feel what he was feeling.

This is the aspect that we should normalize in life. It won't make a person less a human if he's acknowledging his thoughts and feeling his emotions.

"Kaya tinitiis ko na lang. Kaysa naman mawala, 'di ba? Kaya ko pa naman. Hindi naman siguro sila magagalit kung hihingan kita ng pasensya. Ayaw ko ng gulo, Yolo." Lumunok siya at sumulyap sa 'kin.

"Hindi ko kasi natiis na... ganoon ang sasabihin sa 'yo. You build yourself for years, and to prove yourself that you're good enough." I stated.

"I know I'm good enough," seryosong saad niya at diretso ang tingin sa 'kin.

Buti alam mo. Kung hindi, ako ang mag-iexplain sa 'yo kung gaano ka kahalaga.

Namulsa ako at napatitig sa kaniya. His dark looks were so sexy for me. Hindi ko maalis ang tingin sa kaniya dahil hindi nakakasawang tignan.

Malalim. Nakakalunod.

"Alam ko..." Tumango ako nang hindi iniiwas ang mata sa kaniya. "I just don't want you to go back to what you were used to."

"I won't get self-destructed again," he firmly said.

I'm not gonna allow them to destroy you. I'm not gonna watch you trip again after running away. I'm not gonna let you suffocate yourself, even if it's against me.

Hindi ako papayag na bastusin ka dahil walang kahit sino ang may karapatang insultuhin ang pagkatao mo o sa kung ano lang ang kinaya mo.

I won't let them hurt you just because you failed them for expecting for you, when in fact, it was never your obligation to reach their expectations. Because I know you did your best, too.