stars will fall - byler

.10

Friday, June 20th || 2:48 pm
- Bonnie's Night Club -

i looked up from my guitar after strumming my fingers on it, ending the song. clapping came from the audience which brought a light smile to my face. i scanned the audience and saw my friends all at a table, clapping and cheering for us. i even saw el with a bright smile on her face. but none of them were enough to keep a smile on my face because there was someone missing at that table.
Will.

i looked over and saw that max was glaring at me with concern from the look on my face. we walked backstage after the curtain had closed and she ran up behind me, placing her hand over my back.
-"you alright?" she mumbled.
-"yeah, i'm fine." i nodded.
it's been a few weeks since the camping trip and i haven't seen will since. my friends constantly complain about making separate plans for us because he doesn't want to be in the same room as me. i think he might be embarrassed and i don't blame him. but there's nothing to be ashamed of, besides kissing troy. i still can't believe he's with that shitty excuse of a person.

•••

after everything was loaded in the van, i heard footsteps approaching us in the back parking lot. i turned and saw el running towards me. she threw herself in my arms and hugged me tightly, giggling.
-"you guys were great!" she smiled, hugging max after me. lucas and dustin high fived me and complimented the rest of us after el pulled away.
-"hey, where's will?" robin asked, scanning my friends.
-"did he really not come?" max scoffed.
-"yeah because him and mike are still in their little fued." lucas messed up my hair.
-"dude, you guys gotta figure that out. it's getting old, seriously." dustin commented.
-"what happened?" steve jumped in, not knowing what we all know.
-"it's nothing." max mumbled.

i pull up to my house and parked near the back door. my band mates got out and walked to the front of the house to their cars.
-"see ya, wheeler!" steve shouted as he began to pull out of my driveway.
i waved at the rest of them and realized max was standing next to me, waiting for me to pay attention to her.
-"hey, have you talked to will at all?" she asked.
-"no.. not since that night."
-"you need to. i'm being serious, mike."
-"i don't know what to say, max. he's been avoiding me for weeks."
-"yeah, no shit. what you did was shitty, but he's starting to avoid the rest of us as well. he's not picking up his phone anymore and he won't leave his house."
she took a few steps forward to me, looking around worriedly.
-"he's loosing himself, mike. especially since troy came back into town, he's been nothing but a bad influence towards will. you need to figure something out. quick." she whispered.
i watched as she walked down my driveway, getting in her car and leaving. was she right?
has this effected Will really that badly?

- Wills POV -

i sat at the edge of my bed, troy running his hands up and down my back with his lips roughly pressing against mine. i could taste the alcohol on his lips, he had been drinking again. i hated when he would because he would try to pressure me to drink too, but i hated it.
he started kissing down my neck, making my heart race even more.. just not in a good way. i felt my hands trembling nervously as he pushed me back on the bed, hovering over me as he lightly kissed into my skin. i wasn't fully comfortable with how much desire he was showing in this moment, it started to feel too real. when he started to pull my shirt off is when i decided to stand up for myself.
-"troy, you're going to fast." i mumbled, pulling my shirt back down and seeing the disappointment on his face.
-"what do you mean? it's fine, your dads at work, isn't he?" he chuckled, tugging at my shirt but i held his hands off.
-"i mean, i'm not sure i want to go this far yet.." i nervously mumbled.
-"will, it's fine. just chill out.." he ran his hands up my shirt, a lusty grin on his face.  i got tired of fighting and let him take my shirt off, but i felt extremely subconscious about my body.
it's been getting a little hard to keep up this act with troy throughout these few weeks. he's just getting pushier and pushier. he doesn't know how to take no for an answer. i've tried to imagine him as mike, but it's so difficult. i couldn't even stand the thought of mike anymore. that day in the beginning of june still makes my blood boil.
no matter how much i love him, i have to keep my distance. i have to hate him. i have to be with troy to get over him, this was the only logical way.

as he was kissing my lips, i heard a noise coming from the living room. i quickly pulled away to look towards my door.
-"what?"
-"did you hear that?" i whispered.
-"hear what?" he chuckled.
-"will! will, why is the door locked?!" i heard my fathers voice at the other side of the door as he twisted the doorknob.
what is he doing home so early? he wasn't supposed to be home until midnight, it's 9 pm.
i quickly pushed troy off of me, getting up on my feet. i panicked and shoved troy into the closet before throwing my shirt on and opening the door that my father was banging on.
-"why is this locked?"
-"i was just changing." i lied
-"we talked about locked doors. next time, i'm taking your door away. listen, i need you to go out to get me a 6 pack since jonathan's out with nancy."  he grumbled.
-"why can't you wait until jonathan gets home?"
-"because i need them now. just do as i say and don't ask questions, got it? and hey, you should really take after your brother. i don't ever see any girls around here with you." he cruelly laughed before walking away.
i shut the door and suddenly a huge wave of sadness washed over me. usually, my fathers cruel remarks don't get to me anymore. but with troy being here and everything with mike, it just started to sting. when i turned around to face my bedroom, i started to feel a shortness of breath. troy slowly opened the closet and saw me trying to catch my breath. i felt tears streaming down my face as i panicked and gasped for air.
-"what is wrong with you?" troy helplessly stood in the corner of my room just watching me. he didn't even try to help me. i couldn't even look at him at this moment.
-"you need to leave." i said between quiet cries.
-"seriously?"
-"now, troy.. please." i turned away from him, pressing my hands over my desk as i tried to get air. as i squeezed my eyes shut, letting tears fall i could hear him climbing out my window. when i heard it shut, i threw myself over my bed and continued to cry.
i've often had panic attacks since my moms death. it's usually when i'm alone, but when i'm with someone like my brother or friends they always do their best to help.
the way troy just stood there was another reason why i couldn't stand to be around him anymore. but i don't know how i'm going to end things with him, i like the comfort. i like the affection.
i need him to get over mike, that's what's holding me back.

after i had calmed myself down, i drove my car downtown to the gas station where my dad usually gets alcohol. the guy working at the front knew my father and he didn't card me when i payed.
i walked out of the gas station and tossed the beers in my passenger seat before beginning to fill my car up with gas.
as i waited for my car to fill up, headlights shined on the right side of my face. i turned when the light dimmed and i saw a car pulling up to the pump behind mine. i recognized the car but i couldn't tell from where. it wasn't until i realized it was Ted Wheelers until i saw mike climbing out of the drivers side. my heart sunk and i prayed he wouldn't notice me. but immediately when he pulled the pump out, we made eye contact. i quickly pulled the pump out of my car when i heard his voice and got in my car.
-"will, can we please talk?" he begged.
i ignored him and turned my ignition on, making a rumbling sound.
-"will, c'mon man. i know i fucked up." mike complained. i turned up my radio as he continued to try to talk to me. i smiled when i recognized the song to be Up Around The Bend
-"sorry, i can't hear you!" i yelled. i put my arm outside of the window, making eye contact with him with a childish grin on my face. i used my other hand to look at myself in the rearview mirror while bopping my head lightly to the song.
-"seriously? don't be like this, will!" he yelled over the music.
i turned my head towards him, making eye contact again and flipping him off. i laughed at his face before speeding out of the lot, swiftly swerving at the corner.
i've been having so many mixed feelings about mike lately. some days i'll miss him more than anything, others i want to punch him in his pretty face.

i guess today was one of those days.