stars will fall - byler

.19

a smile spread across my face as i threw my backpack over my back, getting ready to leave for mikes. i glanced over at the alarm clock on my nightstand and saw it was 11:50. i walked over to jonathan's bedroom and knocked on the door before letting myself in.
-"hey, can you give me a ride to mikes?" i asked as he sat at his desk.
jonathans been driving me around everywhere since i haven't had a car since the crash. my dad took mine to use for himself. or so i thought until jonathan tossed me my car keys.
-"his car is fixed. you can have yours back now." he smiled. i sighed feeling a weight of guilt on my back.
-"thank you for paying for the damages.. it really wasn't your responsibility."
-"no.. just, don't tell dad." he winked, making me laugh. i shut his door on my way out and skipped my way to the front door.

i parked my car in mikes driveway and excitedly trailed over to his door. i knocked a few times and waited for an answer, but nobody was there.
i even rung the doorbell a few times, nothing. just as i was about to leave in disappointment, holly opened the door.
-"hey, holly. where's mike?" i waved.
-"somewhere." she shrugged and walked away, leaving the door open for me. i walked in and slowly made my way upstairs. i saw mikes bedroom door was shut when i made it to the top step.
-"mike?" i knocked lightly on his door.
he didn't answer so i went ahead and opened it. i saw him in his bed still peacefully sleeping, which brought a smile to my face.
i closed the door quietly and left my bag on the floor next to the bed before i gently laid down behind him and hugged his hips. i pressed my nose into the back of his neck and his hair smelt freshly washed. he lightly groaned and looked back to see me. a sleepy smirk grew on his face when his eyes met mine.
-"morning, sleepyhead." i chuckled.
-"is it noon already?" his voice sounded raspy as he checked his watch. he dropped his arm and kissed my lips, making my heart feel like it was exploding. he pressed his warm hand against my face as his soft lips locked mine.
-"i missed you." he mumbled.
-"i missed you too." i moved his hair from his face as i slightly hovered above him. he sat up and wiped his eyes, stretching his arms before he stood up.
-"are you excited for your show tonight?" i asked as he locked himself in his closet.
-"for sure." his voice was muffled from the doorway between us. he opened the door shortly and was dressed in black pants and a striped tee shirt.
-"i'm even more excited to see you in the crowd this time." he smiled as he leaned over the bed, increasingly getting closer to me. the smile from my face disappeared when his lips met mine again. i gently ran my hand up his neck as his overwhelmingly soft lips pushed against mine. his touch was something i desperately needed, his lips were sweeter than anything i've ever tasted.
it felt like my bloodstream was flooding as he tilted me all the way backwards until my back hit the bed. he kissed with such care, it made me feel like i was melting. i loved him more than anything, but i couldn't tell him. i wish i could tell him.. but he's still in love with el.

-"mike? mike!"

el?

mike pulled his lips away when we realized el was here. when she approached the door and started knocking, we jumped up from the bed.
-"mike, can i come in?" she called out.
-"no, i'm getting dressed! don't come in!" he shouted before looking at me in a panic.
-"the closet, go!" he whispered, throwing me in the closet and slamming the door behind him.
i leaned my back against the wall and closed my eyes, praying for her to go away as i listened into their conversation.
-"what are you doing here?" mike asked.
-"i just wanted to surprise you- who's car is in the driveway?"

shit.

-"what car?" mike acted confused before there was a moment of silence.
-"oh, that? that's nancy's new car, steve picked her up earlier."
i sighed of relief and cursed under my breath before listening in again.
-"oh, okay. you want to watch a movie? why is it so cold in here? can i borrow a sweatshirt?" i heard her voice increasingly get closer to the closet door.

shit! shit, shit, shit!
-"el, no!"
i jumped behind the clothes and hid before el opened the door. i closed my eyes and heard her rummaging through the hangers, praying she wouldn't see me.
after what seemed like forever, the closet door finally shut. i didnt realize i had stopped breathing until i let out a huge puff of air.
-"much better!"
-"el, you can't be here right now."
-"why not?"
-"i'm just.. i need to prepare for the show tonight. i'd just like to be alone." he stuttered.
-"seriously, mike?" she scoffed.
-"i'm sorry, i'll see you there?"
-"whatever." she huffed before i heard his bedroom door slam shut. i didn't come out until mike opened the door after a few moments, waiting for her to leave.
-"shit, that was way too close." i nervously laughed before i noticed the distraught look on his face. he turned around and began walking to his bed.
-"what's wrong?" i asked while facing him as he sat at the edge of his bed.
-"i feel really guilty." he admitted while looking down into his lap. i walked over and sat next to him, trying to get him to explain further.
-"she knows somethings up with me. i feel bad lying to her, she loves me so much.. and i love her."

those words stung more than they should've.

-"but, i really like you. i like you a lot, will. i don't want to hurt either of you by choosing.. i don't even know what to do."

i felt like my heart had just crumbled. even though i knew they were still together, i had convinced myself he would come to his senses and choose me.

-"don't stress it. just pick whoever makes you happiest. pick who sees the real you."  i tried to comfort him. he looked over and shared a gentle smile with me. he pressed his finger under my chin as he lifted it up to kiss me.
by the smile he gave me, i knew it was me. i make him happier and he knows it. el doesn't know the real him, i do.
so why can't he just leave her?

...

i slowly opened my eyes when i felt mikes fingers gently pushing my hair out of my face. i lifted my head from his chest and saw his pretty eyes staring back at me.
-"you slept well." he chuckled.
-"uh oh, was i snoring?"
-"yep."
i groaned and covered my face with my hands, embarrassed as i flipped over on my back. he wrapped his hands around my wrists and laughs with me.
-"it wasn't like obnoxious or anything, it was cute." he commented.
-"shut up." i laughed as he pressed his hand against my face and kissed me. the kiss lasted so long and i never wanted to pull away.
but when we did, i looked at my wristwatch and gasped.
-"mike, it's almost 7! why didn't you wake me?" i sat up and grabbed my shoes next to the bed, sitting at the edge and untying them.
-"because i didn't want you to leave." he groaned.
-"yeah, yeah. you have to leave in 30 minutes. do you have everything ready?" i asked as i tied the shoes on my feet.
-"no.."
-"you better get on it, then!" i laughed, nudging his leg.
-"i think i'll just skip the show and stay here with you forever."

forever. that's another very important word to me.
forever...

-"really? who'd sing for the night?" i laid on top of him, my chin resting on his chest and my arms wrapped around his upper back.
-"robin. she's got it handled if i just don't show up." he smiled.
i stood up and took both of his hands to drag him out of bed.
-"seriously, mike. get your ass up." i laughed, pulling him closer to me once he was up and kissing him goodbye. as i was turning around, mike stopped me.
-"wait!"
i turned around and he pushed me into his chest, hugging me tightly. i was surprised by it, but i rested in his arms. my heart felt like it was melting as our bodies connected, i felt like i was floating. i lifted my head from his shoulder and looked at his flushed red face. his eyes sparkled beautifully in the pale room light and his hair seemed to be flowing from the air conditioning.
-"i love-"
i immediately caught myself from saying the next word. i can't believe i almost just said that.. what do i say now?
-"i loved today, thank you." i redeemed myself.
-"me too. i'll see you in a bit, okay?" he rubbed the side of my face before i turned around and walked down the stairs.

i got in my car and let out a huge sigh, resting my head against the steering wheel. i told myself i'd never say it until he left el, but is he ever going to?
i really do love him. i love him so much..
but if the feeling isn't mutual than this was all a big fucking waste of time.