stars will fall - byler

.12

it's been a week. i think i've fully accepted that will wants nothing to do with me, so i have to want that too. no matter how hard it is.
i put my guitar up after my band mates and i finished up practice. i looked behind me and realized max and robin were inside, leaving steve alone with me.
-"so, steve.. you and nancy are back together?" i announced quietly from across the garage.
-"no. i don't know.. something like that." he walked over to me to prevent anyone else hearing.
-"does eddie know?"
he scoffed shamefully and looked at his feet, dodging my question.
-"dude, you can't do that to eddie." i groaned.
-"i know, man. i don't know, a part of me didn't even really like eddie in the first place. i'm just not that into guys." he admitted
-"what are you talking about?"
-"i mean, i've been in love with nance for years. i haven't stopped. i guess after her and jonathan.. i accepted that she moved on. i tried to with eddie, but i couldn't get over her. it was impossible. it is impossible." he ranted.
-"so, you used eddie?"
-"when you put it like that it sounds bad.. but in a way, kind of." he shamefully nodded.
we stood there in silence as he looked at his feet. i started to think about what he said.
it sounded oddly familiar.
-"hey, i've heard from dustin that something happened between you and will.. what's that about?" he changed the subject, annoying me.
-"i don't know, man. i did something wrong and i've tried to apologize and he just won't accept it. so i guess i'm just trying to forget about him."
-"what'd you do?" he laughed.
-"i caught him making out with.. some guy. i sorta told the whole party he was gay." i whispered.
-"but everyone already knows that?"
-"well he doesn't know everyone knows. i also said something about his father and things just got out of hand. he hates me now."
-"did something happen before you outed him? like did you guys have another argument because that can't be the only reason he's not speaking to you." steve questioned.
-"uh.. he got upset the previous day because he was thinking that i was putting el over everyone else and it seemed to really bother him. but that has nothing to do with our argument now."
he looked at me and i could tell there was something he wanted to say, but he didn't say it.
-"what is it?"
-"nothing." he shook his head.
-"tell me!" i nudged his shoulder.
he sighed and hesitated before telling me.
-"i didn't want to say anything before because i wasn't sure.. but-"
-"we're back!" robin announced as max and her walked back to the garage from inside my house.
i looked at steve and he shook his head, refusing to continue in front of them.
as they were beginning to leave, i could hear the phone ringing from across the garage. i picked it up, thinking it was my parents checking in since they were out of town.
-"yeah?"
-"hello! this is Chris, the owner of Hoosier Dome Music Arena. is Michael Wheeler around?"

my heart sank into the ground and i quietly gasped, looking at all of my friends in a panic.
Hoosier Dome? that's such a nice music arena in indianapolis for concerts!
-"sorry! yes, this is Michael."
-"great! we just had a band drop out of a showing for this Saturday. we have an open slot and Cupids Bullet was next up on the list if you guys were available."
i looked over at them again and a huge smile appeared on my face as i began jumping up and down. they were trying to get me to tell them when i realized they were still on the phone.
-"yes, we're available! what time?"
-"the show would start at 9 pm. i'd say check in and set up around 8:15. does that sound good?"
-"yes, that sounds perfect! thank you so much!"
-"awesome, goodnight!"
i hung up the phone and started jumping up and down, overcome in excitement.
-"what is it?!" robin anxiously shrieked.
-"Hoosier Dome just invited us to preform this saturday!"
-"shut the fuck up!" max shrieked, throwing herself in robins arms.
-"dude, no way!" steve shook my shoulders in excitement. we all jumped around, overwhelmed with excitement and celebrated together.
i was so excited i forgot that steve was meaning to tell me something, but that was irrelevant to me now

- Wills POV -

as i was drawing in my sketchbook while sitting at my desk, listening to music from the radio, my phone began to ring. i turned the volume down and picked up the phone.
-"hello?"
-"can you come over?" troy spoke from the other end.
-"i still don't feel well, troy." i rolled my eyes.
that wasnt fully a lie, but i've been feeling a little better. im still constantly tired and my head has been killing me though.
-"it's been like a week! are you just avoiding me?"
-"what? no!"
-"do you not like me anymore?"
-"no, i do! why would you say that? you're just constantly out with friends drinking or whatever" i nervously stammered.
-"i'm catching up with them! and you know i'm trying to quit, it's not that easy, will!" he grumbled.

before i could say anything else he had hung up the phone. i frustratedly slammed the phone back up, standing up from my chair but immediately my head started spinning. i grabbed onto the edge of my desk as my weight felt like it was increasingly getting heavier. i felt lightheaded like this often when i stood up. i think it's from the lack of nutrients in the little food i've been eating. my brother hasn't gone grocery shopping recently. he's been hanging out in his bedroom all week, hardly coming out. anytime i try to talk to him and see if he's okay he just pushes me away. i hope he's doing okay. and my father isn't even an option so.. i'm the only one that can.
im just too tired.
as i had sat back down on my bed, my phone rang again. i rolled my eyes and picked my phone back up while trying to prevent myself from fainting.
-"yeah?"
-"will, guess what?! you're never going to believe this! we just got a really big offer to perform in indianapolis this saturday night!" max shrieked.
-"really? that's awesome max."
-"do you think you can go? it starts at 9. i know you don't ever go to my shows but this could be such a life changing event!"
-"yeah, i'll try to be there." i sighed.
-"really? sweet! i love you! bye, will!" she gushed and quickly hung up. i sighed after placing my phone back up. max is right, i don't go to her shows and for good reason. it's not because of her, it's stupid ass mike i'm trying to avoid. just the thought of him made my fists tighten.
it's been easier to hate him now that the feelings are mutual. dustin told me that mike was going on a full rant about how mad he was at me. he's only mad because i won't forgive him for trashing troy.
i'm really starting to wonder if i could move on with troy. instead of pretending troy is mike, i need to focus on troy. i haven't even given him a full chance, maybe he really has changed.
that is if he decides to stick to his words and stop drinking. i try to believe he could.