stars will fall - byler

.28

i sat at the end of the bed, sobbing into my hands. mike wasn't home yet, i left the theater before he could chase me. i don't know if he followed me, but i took the time to pack up my things. there was no way i could stay here anymore. i just don't know where i'm going to go.. do i go back home? my father wouldn't let me in, but jonathan might..
i walked over to the nightstand and dialed his number, waiting anxiously for him to answer.
-"hello?"
-"jon? jonathan, i have to come home." i sniffled.
-"what's wrong?"
-"can i come home? please, i need to come home." i cried.
-"yeah, come right now. i'll be here."
-"is dad home?" i asked with a shaken voice.
-"no, he's working. don't worry about him, just come on." he assured me.
-"okay.." i began to sob but i stopped myself and hung up the phone. i hurriedly took as much as i could and shoved it into a backpack. i was still in such disbelief that mike did this to me.. how long have they been back together?
did he even break up with her to begin with? has he just been lying to me this whole time?

as soon as i opened the front door, i saw mikes car pulling into the driveway. i bolted for my car and shoved the bags in while mike got out of his car.
-"Will! will, stop!" he yelled while trying to pull me back. he grabbed my arm and slammed my car door shut.
-"let go of me!" i snatched my hand back.
-"will, please!"
-"what, mike?! what do you have to say?" i snapped with tears streaming down my face.
-"i'm sorry.. will, i really am! you have no idea how hard this is for me!"
-"oh, this is hard for you?" i scoffed
-"yes, it is! i'm in love with both of you and i'm just not ready to let her go.."
-"you're a fucking liar." i angrily mumbled with tears filling my eyes.
-"that night.. you told me i was the one you wanted to be with. that i was your first choice. it was all a fucking lie!" tears streamed down my face.
-"no, it wasn't!"
-"it was, or you wouldn't have lied about breaking up with her and we wouldn't be here! God, all those times you were acting so strange.. getting home late. was it because of her?" i frantically asked, feeling my heart shatter when he shamefully didn't respond. because we both knew the answer to my question. i scoffed and opened my car door, getting ready to leave but he pulled my arm back.
-"will, don't leave! please, i love you! you love me, so you can't leave! let's just go inside and talk this out and work through this.. okay?"
i stepped out of the door frame, walking closer towards mike to where there was no space between us. the tension was so strong.. i wanted to kiss him so badly but at the same time i wanted to hurt him.
i swiftly leaned forward to kiss him, kissing more passionately than i ever have before. he kissed me, his hands running up my back.
i kissed him extra sweetly, knowing it was the last time. when i pulled away, i saw a look of relief in his eyes but when he saw my face, it quickly washed away.
-"i fucking hate you. i never want to see you again." i whispered before sitting in my car and speeding away, leaving him alone in the driveway.

and just like that, my whole world had fallen apart.

MIKES POV

i watch as wills car screeches down the road as he drove overly fast out of my driveway.. i can't believe that just happened. what am i supposed to do now? i can't let him throw our relationship away.. this is all my fault. i fucking hate myself. i wish i wasn't still hung up on el, why can't i let her go?
should i go after him? what if he goes back home to his father and gets hurt.. it'll all be my fault.

he just needs some time. i'll try to talk to him at school tomorrow.. if he lets me. i don't want to go back to what our relationship used to be. where we hated each other and couldn't stand to be around one another.. i love him.
i need to talk to someone.. i need guidance, but who? nobody knows about me, about will and i.
suddenly, a person came to mind. someone who understands what i'm going through.

...

-"what's going on?" steve asked as he sat on the couch of my basement. i sat across from him in my seat, gathering the courage to speak.
-"if i tell you, will you promise that it stays between us?"
-"sure."
-"i'm serious, you can't tell anyone!"
-"i promise, i won't say anything." he assured me.
-"okay.. so, i'm kind of in a similar situation you were in with nancy and jonathan."
-"what do you mean?"
-"i've sorta been.. seeing someone else behind els back. and i can't choose which one of them i want to be with."
-"who, will?" he smirked, making my heart sink.
-"how did you know that.."
-"c'mon, man. it was obvious."
-"to who??"
-"uh, i don't know. everyone, i'm sure.. anyways, continue." he laughed at my reaction. did everyone suspect us? is that why my friends act so weird around us? because they know.. does el know too?
-"i told will i'd break up with el because i want to be with him.. and i do. i really want to be with him.. but when it got to the point of breaking up with her i just couldn't. i don't know why, i guess i'm just not ready to let go of our relationship.. and so i've been secretly with her for these past few weeks and will caught us together. but what el and i had was so special. she was the first person to show me love and not look at me like i was a freak. she was the first to understand me. i can't just let that go.." i explained.
i looked up at him and he was nodding, thinking about what i was saying.
-"so, any advice?"
-"you want my honest opinion? it sounds like you're not holding onto el.. you're holding onto the memories you had together. yes, those are hard to let go of.. but you wouldn't have fallen for will if you were truly in love with el."

i'm holding onto the memories?

-"so what should i do?" i ask, completely stuck.
-"you want to be with will, right?
i nodded.
-"then break up with el. i know it's hard and you probably don't want to hurt her, but she'll get over it eventually."
-"do you think will would forgive me if i do?"
-"maybe. that's why you broke up, right? because you didn't?"
-"yeah.."
-"okay. if you're sure about will, then leave her."

i ran my hands up my face and through my hair, overwhelmed and stressed. he stood up and patted me on the back.
-"i told you not to fall in love, kid. it sucks." he said while at the end of the staircase.
-"yeah, i wish i never had fallen for will." i admitted, not meaning to say out loud.
-"why? because you're embarrassed?" he stopped walking at the first step to face me.
-"to be with a boy, yeah."
-"that's another thing, dude. you want to be with him, then be with him. it doesn't count if you guys hide out in secret, that's not love." he noted before walking up the steps of my basement and leaving me by myself.
will always hated that we were a secret, but we've always had to be because of el. if i break up with el and tell my friends how i really feel, he'd forgive me.
and i'd finally have him again..
-"hey, steve?" i called out before he could reach the top step.
-"yeah?"

-"can you do me a favor?"