stars will fall - byler

.38

August 5th || 8:53 pm
- the night Will died -

TRIGGER WARNING

-"steve? can you do me a favor?" i asked before he could reach the top of the stairs.
-"yeah?"
-"do you have anything that i could use to help me take all of this off my mind?" i subtly hinted.
-"like?" he cluelessly nodded.
-"alcohol.. or something?"
-"no, you're not even 17." he scoffed.
-"you were doing this younger than i am! please, i just want to feel fine for one night. i won't ask for anything like this ever again." i begged.
he hesitated and looked around the room, trying to find a way to say no.
-"just this one time. please, steve." i mumbled, looking at him with such pain in my eyes. he sighed and gave into me.

when we got to his house, it seemed nobody was home. his house was empty and so big. he set his car keys down and began walking towards his kitchen. i inspected everything around his house as i slowly followed him to the counter where i saw him pulling out two glass bottles and pouring whiskey into both. he nudged one over to me and we clinked glasses before taking a drink. it was one of the worst tasting liquids i've ever tasted.
-"that's disgusting." i complained.
-"it's worth it." he sighed with a sour look on his face. he leaned against the stove across from me and analyzed my face. it took me a few to understand he was looking at me because i was zoning out into the window.
-"you love him?" steve's voice echoed in the silent room.
-"what?"
-"will. you really love him?"
i was repulsed he could even ask me that.
-"of course i do. no doubt about it. it kills me that I'm such an idiot." i took another sip.
-"love makes you do idiotic things." he added.
-"it sure does." i groan, disgusted by the taste of whiskey.

i didn't keep track of time while i was there but we were two drinks in when it seemed like an hour passed by.
-"i should really hit the shower. you plan on crashing tonight?" he asked after our laughter died down.
-"probably, if i keep going with this." i held up my glass.
-"okay, don't drink all of that! ill be back." he pointed at me as he begun walking towards the staircase. once he was gone, the room grew uncomfortably silent and empty. i was alone again and the effects of the alcohol were kicking in. it started to make me feel worse about myself. i walked towards the living room to turn on the tv on so i could distract myself, but i couldn't find the remote. i looked in between the couch cushions, on the tv stand and as i was looking underneath the coffee table, i stumbled across a lock box. curiosity got the better of me and i pulled it out, setting it on the table and opening it. when i saw multiple mini bags of different substances, i was shocked.
i didn't know steve was doing drugs.
i went through the bags and saw labels on them. weed, cocaine, steroids, morphine, and multiple injection needles. something about this seemed sickening and i knew if steve saw i was going through this he would loose his shit. but another part of me didn't want to put it away. that part of me was telling me to pick up the bottle of morphine and inject it straight into my veins.
i didnt realize that part of me was actually doing it until i felt the surge of the liquid in my blood.

-"what the hell are you doing?" i heard from behind me. i jumped and looked behind me and steve was standing in the entry way. he looked down at my hands and saw the injection needle in my hands.
-"nothing." i dropped the needle behind me and acted like he didn't see anything. as i rummaged to put everything back, the effects of the drug was already setting in. my body felt weak and heavy. my eyes were heavy and everything seemed to be moving in slow motion.
-"why were you touching this, mike?!" he took the box from my hands.
-"i don't know."
-"you should really leave, mike." he grabbed onto my wrist.
-"what the fuck is wrong with you?" i snapped my arm back, seeing the look of anger in his eyes.
-"now!" he snapped.
seeing the anger he had for me in this moment should've made me feel guilty, but i didn't. it just irritated me, i wanted to make him angrier. i walked past the other side of him and rushed to the kitchen, taking the bottle of whiskey and pouring it over my mouth, chugging. he rushed over to me and tried pulling it from my hands, but my grip on it was firm. he pushed me into the counter and i dropped the bottle, watching as the glass shattered and the liquid splashed all over the ground. i didn't even get to see what he was thinking by the look on his face before he grabbed me by my shirt and dragged me outside. before i could do anything, he was throwing me outside and locking the door behind him. my body just laid there on the concrete as i felt too lazy to sit back up. i rolled over on my back and looked up at the dark sky, the stars looking extra bright. the stars shined and danced, it was so weird to see. laughter filled my lungs as i took in the night. will would get such a kick from this.
will. i need to see will. i need to apologize for everything.
there was no way i could walk all the way across town, certainly not in the condition i'm in right now. i looked over at steve's car and an idea sparked in my head. i prayed as i walked over to his car door and they were answered when i realized it was unlocked. i quietly shut it once i was inside and tried to remember how to hot wire a car. eddie taught me a while back, but my mind was so full it was hard to remember.
after what seemed like hours of trying, the car started. i manically laughed when it worked and i sped out of his driveway as fast as possible. on the way to wills house, i almost got into multiple traffic accidents but i made it there. i parked down the street and ran up to his trailer, seeing his car already parked. as i was approaching from down the road, i saw the front door open and will was sneaking out with tears streaming his face. i jumped behind a bush before i saw him disappearing into the clearing of the woods behind his house. i followed him slowly, trying to keep the strength in my legs.

i followed him all the way out to the river and even had to climb up the hill, which seemed impossible with the weakness i felt through out my body. but i did it. i reached over and pulled myself on the log where i saw him. he was crying but when he saw me in the corner of his eye, he seemed scared. he backed up as i approached.
-"mike?"
-"will, you need to come home." i slurred my words.
-"mike, go away." will wiped his tears.
his resistance started to aggravate me, why wasn't he happy to see me?
-"will, c'mon."
-"we're done, mike."
his tone of voice really touched a nerve, making my face twitch with anger.
-"you can't do this to us! we're leaving." i began to grab wills arm but he resisted.
-"mike, stop!" he yelled while pulling his wrist back. i continued to grow with anger. i looked at him with such hatred, that wasn't my will.
i grabbed both his wrists and began to pull him closer to me, but he started screaming and pulling away. when i lost my grip on him, his strength made him fall backwards and off the log. i looked down and seeing as his life almost instantly disappeared when his body hit the water was weirdly satisfying.
i felt no emotion in my body, it was like the morphine mixed with the alcohol i drank shriveled my heart.
i was heartless.