stars will fall - byler

.13

i paced in a line backstage behind the curtain as everyone else was setting everything up. we were planning on singing Smells Like Teen Spirit, my personal favorite to sing but i was nervous to mess something up. what if i miss a cue or forget a lyric? music is my life. my whole future. important people are going to be watching and this could dictate my entire music career. i felt sweat glistening on my forehead as i paced back and forth.
-"mike, will you chill out?" robin asked.
-"sorry, i'm nervous!" i defended.
-"then don't be! just relax and don't think about it." steve picked his drumsticks off of the floor and started spinning them around.
max darted for the curtain and peaked through the edge.
-"they're here!" she mumbled to herself. i followed her and opened the curtain wider to peak out. i saw El walking in with lucas. but even though i didn't want to admit it, i was hurt that Will wasn't with them.
-"of course he's not here.." max mumbled to herself and peaked over at me and saw my distraught face before i could hide it. i made eye contact with her and i knew she knew.
-"listen, mike. you play better when you're angry, right?"
i hesitantly nodded.
-"good. channel that anger right here, right now. don't fuck it up." she hissed, attempting to motivate me.
she walked away, lightly checking my shoulder.
she was right. i do play better angry. thinking about Will made me angrier than ever.
fuck him. fuck his selfish ass.
i hate him more than i do anything.

the curtain opened and the bright lights shined right onto us. we all looked at each other and cued to start. i began strumming the pick on my guitar, beginning the song. once i got the hang of it and began singing, the adrenaline of being on stage was so euphoric that i couldn't even think about will anymore. he doesn't matter. this is more important.

...

-"i found it hard, it's hard to find. oh well, whatever. nevermind." i sung into the microphone, nearing the end of the song.

-"hello, hello, hello, how low." the girls and i repeated into the microphone. i felt a droplet of sweat dripping on the side of my face as i started jumping and yelling into the mic.

-"With the lights out, it's less dangerous. here we are now, entertain us. i feel stupid and contagious. here we are now, entertain us!"

-"a denial!" i repeatedly shouted the last verse into the mic before strumming the last chord of the song. once my body was still, my head pounded from how hard i had been bopping it back and forth. clapping and cheering filled the small arena bringing a smile to my face. i looked out and saw nancy with holly out at a table. she never comes to my shows, she thinks we're just noise. it made me happy she was here.
i like to believe she came to watch me and not just steve.

i walked backstage and all 3 of my band mates started jumping up and down, hugging me tightly while shrieking excitedly.
-"that was amazing!"
-"we did so great, guys!" max screamed.
-"mike, your vocals were on top of it. way to relax." robin punched my shoulder, making me slightly wince in pain.

after everything was packed up in the van, we met back inside with lucas and el. el hugged me tightly and kissed my lips with a grin on her face.
-"i'm so proud of you." she whispered, smiling brightly while wrapping her arms around my neck. i saw nancy from behind her. after el left to hug max, nancy tightly clung onto me.
-"you're so grown up, mike." she laughed emotionally.
-"are you crying?"
-"no." she denied before i hugged holly.
-"that was really loud." holly complained, making everyone else laugh.
-"we should get going. we'll see you guys later!" lucas waved as him and el began to leave on the opposite side of the parking lot.
-"hey, nance? can robin and i ride with you?" steve called out before they both started heading towards her, leaving me and max together.
-"don't you want to go with lucas?" i offered to max.
-"his car only seats two, remember?" she shook her head before opening the passenger door.
i walked around the van and got in the drivers seat.
i hated that i had to drive this van over an hour out of town, but it was worth the night.