Hey, how you doin, I'm doing shit. Wanna know why?
1. my face resembles a scaled animal and every time I try to fix it, it feels like I stabbed myself in the forehead and poured twenty liters of lime juice on the wound.
2. I feel like I'm losing my best friend of five years to the same type of person we used to make fun of while eating so much raw cookie dough that we'd get to miss a day of school because of immense stomach aches.
3. follow up to the one above, I feel like a shit person for getting mad, because the person my friend is now hanging out with apparently attempted suicide, and now I'm being a piece of shit getting mad at my friend for potentially preventing another attempt.
4. my mum made my family go on fucking ATVs. Sounds fun? It wasn't. I had to switch ATVs around six times, because it's Bali, and so much shit is just that. Shit. I also got completely soaked, covered in mud and dirt, and was sitting in a puddle of water and my own sweat.
5. My brothers cannot grasp the fact that blatant bigotry is not the same as humor.
6. I can't have snapchat or chrome on my phone, even though my older brother has Snapchat, a shit load of games, TikTok, YouTube, Discord.
7. Trump is existing too loudly.
8. So are my brothers.
9. And my mum. Last time I complained about her on here I got screeched at, to which I say fuck that, fuck her, people would look at my dyed hair and she/ him/ they pronouns and go 'FaThErLeSs BeHaViOr' fuck you, blame my mother. I fucking do.
10. An online friend I had was like 'Oh no, I have to tell my grandparents about me being athiest' Bitch, your grandparents are chill, they aren't homophobic, they aren't racist, they don't wear fucking crosses on jewelry, stop acting like you're telling trump that you're non-binary and lesbian, shut up.
11. A guy in my class/ friend group will not stop making sexist, homophobic, transphobic, racist remarks. Oh, and dropping the N-word every now and again. Oh, and not taking rape and SA seriously. Oh, and denying sexism. And racism. And intolerance against the LGBTQIAP+ community. It goes on.
12. I'm 99.9999999999999999969999999% sure that all my friends secretly hate me and have a group chat where they make fun of me and plot my murder. No, I have no proof, but I fucking know it's true.
13. The girl I like is straight.
14. My friend who's kinda drifting away from me is also kinda drifting away from our friend group, and some members of my friend group who would non-stop complain and gossip about her are now mad that she found a new friend.
15. I feel like my friends only see me as a therapist and brawler.
16. I stabbed myself in the armpit with the razor my mother INSISTED could not cut me.
17. Every time I try and just write the one book I have that people give a single shit about, I get distracted, and before I know it, another day passes, and the time between chapters gets longer.
Do other people have it worse? Yes. Does that make me give less of a shit about all the bullshit going on for me? No.
At this point, I'm surviving off fanfiction, Hazbin Hotel fan songs, the fact that my English class is studying creative writing, and pure fucking sugar.
I joke about my mental health a lot, but I'm admitting right now that it's shit, plus I'm the unspoken therapist of my friend group, so now I've got my friend's problems piled up on mine, and I feel like a dick for even slightly disliking that.
I feel like my head's under water, but if I pull it up, everyone in my life will fall off my shoulders and their heads will go under. It's a fucking trolley problem, and I hate it.
Anyways, hey hey hey, you come here for shits and giggles, so I'll fucking deliver, because that's my fucking thing.
Shits
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And some giggles.
Peace, believe in yourself, as you're literally a ghost piloting a fucking meat statue sitting on a floating rock. ✌🏽✨
