DO MY EYES DECIEVE ME??? NO THEY DO NOT!

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THE REAL REASON ALASTOR HATES LUCIFER 

AHEM 



Lucifer: charlie, what up? *Hug* 

Alastor thinking: well damn, he actually doesn't seem too bad! He actually seems like a pretty chill guy- WAIT A DAMN MINUTE. 

Alastor thinking: DO MY EYES DECIEVE ME? NO THEY DO NOT. HOHO... 

Alastor thinking: THIS BITCH HAS A CANE. 

Alastor thinking: I am the only demon in this hotel who should have a STICK.  

Lucifer: *pats cat* hello cat 

Alastor thinking: look at that sad excuse for a staff. it doesn't even have an eyeball on it. 

Lucifer: who the hell added a fucking bar? 

Alastor: that was me. I have a bit of a higher ranking here, as you can probably tell by the *cough* CANE. 

Alastor: *Shakes Lucifer's cane* that is an interesting looking cane you got there. No doubt its to help you get things off those high shelves. 

Lucifer: *fuck this bitch* totally haven't heard that one before.

Alastor: oh, I'd make more jokes but I shouldn't stoop DOWN to that level. I'm ABOVE such things. 

Lucifer: hardy har har. who the fuck are you?

Alastor: the radio demon! A very powerful figure as you can tell by ✨ the cane ✨ 

Lucifer: hmmm... nope. that is a microphone on a stand. 

Alastor: it is a cane, and it's better than yours. 

Lucifer: please! it just makes your annoying voice louder, hahaha. 

Alastor: HA. HA. HA. I've killed with mine. 

Lucifer: HA. HA. HA. probably because you couldn't do it yourself. 

Alastor: HA. HA. HA. Yours is just a stupid apple. 

Lucifer: HA. HA. HA. at least people like apples. 

Alastor: HA. HAAAAAAAAAAAA. 

Alastor: fuck you.

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