THE REAL REASON ALASTOR HATES LUCIFER
AHEM
Lucifer: charlie, what up? *Hug*
Alastor thinking: well damn, he actually doesn't seem too bad! He actually seems like a pretty chill guy- WAIT A DAMN MINUTE.
Alastor thinking: DO MY EYES DECIEVE ME? NO THEY DO NOT. HOHO...
Alastor thinking: THIS BITCH HAS A CANE.
Alastor thinking: I am the only demon in this hotel who should have a STICK.
Lucifer: *pats cat* hello cat
Alastor thinking: look at that sad excuse for a staff. it doesn't even have an eyeball on it.
Lucifer: who the hell added a fucking bar?
Alastor: that was me. I have a bit of a higher ranking here, as you can probably tell by the *cough* CANE.
Alastor: *Shakes Lucifer's cane* that is an interesting looking cane you got there. No doubt its to help you get things off those high shelves.
Lucifer: *fuck this bitch* totally haven't heard that one before.
Alastor: oh, I'd make more jokes but I shouldn't stoop DOWN to that level. I'm ABOVE such things.
Lucifer: hardy har har. who the fuck are you?
Alastor: the radio demon! A very powerful figure as you can tell by ✨ the cane ✨
Lucifer: hmmm... nope. that is a microphone on a stand.
Alastor: it is a cane, and it's better than yours.
Lucifer: please! it just makes your annoying voice louder, hahaha.
Alastor: HA. HA. HA. I've killed with mine.
Lucifer: HA. HA. HA. probably because you couldn't do it yourself.
Alastor: HA. HA. HA. Yours is just a stupid apple.
Lucifer: HA. HA. HA. at least people like apples.
Alastor: HA. HAAAAAAAAAAAA.
Alastor: fuck you.