Crazy Stupid Love

Chapter 56: To Feel Nothing At All

Ellington's POV

The first night of our honeymoon is beyond magical. I haven't slept at all tonight; I've only laid here in complete awe of the girl snoring softly in my arms. Gently, she stirs awake and makes her way to the bathroom.
I am torn from this bliss by a sound that makes my heart sink to my stomach. Rydel screaming my name.
"Rydel!" I yell.
Before I can register what is happening, my feet have moved my body to the bathroom door. I mutter curse words under my breath as I shake the door handle; violently banging it in attempt to either unlock it or bust is off.
"Del," I scream. "Open up!"
I hear the lock shift, and the door swings open. Rydel's face comes into view, and it is stained with tears.
"My water broke," she whispers.
Panic sets into every inch of my body as I realize what this means. She's about to have her baby. I'm about to be a father.
Taking her hand, I lead her out of the room. As we board the elevator, I phone Riker.
"Rik, quick, get everyone. Meet us at the hospital. The baby is coming. Now."
Rydel cries out in pain again as another contraction hits; forcing her to lean all of her weight on me in order to stay standing.
"It's going to be okay," I murmur as we walk out towards my car. "We're going to be fine."
"Ellington," she whispers.
"Yeah, baby?" I ask; pulling out of the parking garage and onto the freeway.
"She's not going to make it, is she?"
Her question takes me aback. Through everything that has happened, Rydel has never lost hope. No matter what bad news we receive, her faith that this baby will survive hasn't even wavered.
"If she has even a small amount of the fight that you have in her, I have no doubt in my mind she will make it."
Her mouth opens as she begins to speak, but her words are replaced by a sharp cry of pain. Her fingers squeeze my hand until it is completely white, but I make no move to her. Only press a little more on the gas to get us to the hospital a little faster.
"Ell," she pants. "Listen... to me."
"What is it?" I urge.
Taking a moment to breathe before continuing, she says, "I want you to remember something, no matter what happens tonight."
"Anything."
"I'm not dying because I'm sick, I'm dying because I lived."
"No," I argue, my voice cracking. "You're not dying. You're not leaving me."
Before she can respond, I pull into the emergency parking. A fourth contraction hits as I help her from the car, so I scoop her up in my arms and run inside.
The second the receptionist catches sight of me, she pages doctors to meet us. Rydel is taken from my arms and laid out on a bed.
"What happened?" A doctor screams.
"She's five months pregnant and just went into labor," I reply.
The man's face drops, and he motions for them to take Rydel away.
Without a word, they push her bed down a hallway and out of sight.
Every hair on my body stands straight up as another cry of pain sounds from down the hallway. I may not be able to see her face, but I would recognize that scream anywhere.
"Where are they taking her?" I demand.
"Emergency C-Section," he answers curtly.
"She has stage 4 liver cancer," I inform him.
If it was possible for his expression to get any more grim, it did.
"Will you be able to save her?" I ask weakly.
"We'll do all that we must in order to preserve a life," he responds before briskly walking the same path they took Rydel down.
It is in that moment when I understand what he meant. At best, he will only be able to save one of them. My queen and my princess. The lives of two of the most important people in my life are in his hands, and at least one of them will be lost.

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It's been two hours, and we have gotten no news.
The Lynch's, along with my sister, have been camped out in the waiting room with me all night.
Every minute that passes without news kills a small piece of hope left inside of me. She has to be okay. She will be okay.
Marriya and Ross walk back into the waiting room, their hands full from the early morning Starbucks run they have just returned from.
"Any news?" Ross asks hopefully.
Grimly; I shake my head.
"Well no news is good news, right?" Marriya suggests; beginning to pass drinks and food around the circle.
"Not in this case," Rocky answers. "It means that they're still going."
"Well that means she's still alive, doesn't it?" Ryland asks. "I mean they wouldn't keep working if she wasn't."
"I pray you're right, Ry," I murmur, although an unexplainable feeling in the pit of my stomach tells me otherwise.
"Mr. Ratliff?" A voice calls out.
"Yes?" I call out.
A mix of panic and relief wash over me as I recognize Dr. Kingston approaching. He's either here because things went really good, or because things went as bad as I fear.
"How are you all this morning?" he asks.
"How's my wife?" I demand. "And my daughter."
His expression darkens.
"I'm sorry Mr Ratiff, but the baby was delivered too early. She was too premature, and passed away prior to delivery. We did all that we could."
I gasp for air, but find myself unable to breathe. It feels as if I have been kicked in the stomach, except the rest of my body is numb. My daughter. My baby girl. My princess. Gone.
"Would you like to hold her?" Doctor Kingston offers.
"No."
"No?" Riker asks.
"When I think about her, I want to think about how precious and beautiful I pictured her. The laughing little girl with Rydel's gorgeous eyes and my brown hair. The girl I imagine is full of life. That's how I want to think of my daughter."
"Very well. In any case, we do need a name for her. Did you and your wife pick one out?"
"Yes, we did. Abigail Cheryl Ratliff," I reply.
"Very nice. I will get the paperwork started immediately."
"What can I see my wife?" I murmur. "When can I see Rydel?"
He says nothing, but the look on his face says more than enough.
"She's gone, isn't she?" Marriya asks weakly.
"We did all that we could to save her, but the cancer was too far gone. She was a fighter, but in the end she wasn't a survivor. I'm really sorry for your loss."
Marriya falls down into Ross' arms, sobbing her eyes out. Ross does his best to comfort her, but it's only seconds before he loses it too.
Ryland and Rocky cling to each other; murmuring words of comfort into the other one's ear, although I'm not sure if the words are meant to reassure their brother or themselves.
Riker screams in agony, his red face streaked with tears. His fist connects with the wall, leaving a large hole in the perfect white drywall. Pressing his back against the wall, he slides down into a sitting position and puts his head between his knees. Relentlessly, he bangs his fists against the floor and screams.
I stare forward; not feeling anything. I don't feel pain, and I don't feel better. I'm not angry, but I'm not sad. I feel nothing. No tears come, and I make no noise. There's nothing left inside of me. I'm completely numb.

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Hey guys! I'm sorry for the long waits, I'm just extremely busy this summer. I hope you all are enjoying these updates. If you are, vote and leave me something in the comments.
You are all such gems
Much love. Always.
~ Hannah xxx