Ross's PoV
The edges of my world blur together; not helping at all to aid me in figuring out why the room is spinning so fast.
Through the dizziness, nausea, and the constant change in focus of the room, I am able to make out a face staring intently at me. Her face.
Seeing Marriya snaps me out of the intoxication in an instant, something I never believed to be possible. Immediately, I am more alert and focused then I usually am when sober.
"Ross," she murmurs. "What are you doing?"
"Marriya."
The single word is heavy in my mouth, most likely because of the meaning it carries to me. It isn't just a name anymore. It represents the most unique, broken, and beautiful girl I have ever met.
"What's going on?" She asks, taking a tentative step forward.
"It's okay," I murmur. "Come here."
The second the words leave my mouth, she moves swiftly towards me. As she sits on the bar stool next to me, I mentally prepare what I have to say.
Not exactly sure where to start, I make a decision I never thought I would ever make. To tell her everything. Lying is what I have been doing to everyone outside my family since this all began, but that doesn't even register as a possibility with her. She doesn't deserve that.
"It started last year," I begin. "The stress of things finally got to me around August. R5 was getting more and more famous, and it was great. Combine that with Austin and Ally plus Teen Beach Movie, it just grew to be too much. The whole time this was happening, I began to receive Twitter hate in large amounts, and it eventually got to me. I'm usually pretty good at just brushing it off, but when you receive over 1000 tweets and comments eery day telling you to kill yourself, it gets to be too much. You actually start believing the people telling you the planet would be better off without you."
I pause, taking a deep breath. Carefully watching her, I notice her open her mouth for the first time since I began speaking.
"Don't listen to them."
"What if they're right, though?" I ask sadly. "What if I would be doing everyone a favour by just disappearing?"
"I've only known you for a small time, but you're already one of the most important people in my life. I need you, Ross. I don't want to have to live a day without you ever again."
Her eyes focus on the cool black tiles under our feet, pretending to study them intently. I know she is forcing her eyes away from mine, but that's the exact opposite of what I want.
"Mar," I say, reaching forward and placing my index finger on her chin. Gently, I push her face up so she is looking me in the eye. "I need you too. More then you will ever even begin to fathom. I didn't know a feeling like this existed till I met you."
"Finish your story," she requests weakly, her eyes never leaving mine.
"The first time I drank, it felt as if a weight was lifted off my shoulders. It slowly became a habit, one I have never been able to shake. I'm not proud of it, and wish somehow I could stop. My family tries to help as much as they can, but I just can't stop drinking."
"You can get through this," she replies softly.
"I've tried, Mar. Honestly, I don't think I can."
"I know you can," she replies.
"How?"
"Because this is different from the other times."
"Why?" I insist.
"Because you have me."
It's in this moment, that I realize how much Marriya means to me. Even as she sits makeup-less in Rydel's clothes, her hair falling out of the messy bun it was once placed in, she looks perfect. I know it's too soon to love her, but she just has an indescribable aura to her that draws me in. I need her more then I need air. I would rather die then live a day without her.
"Lets go to bed," I offer.
She says nothing, but quickly stands. I slip my hand into hers as we walk, holding her tightly.
"Lay with me?"
"Okay," she whispers, biting her lip subconsciously.
We sneak into my room, careful not to wake Ryland. Pulling the covers back, I crawl into the bed. Seconds later, Marriya's small body slips in beside mine. I lay on my back, one arm holding her to me. One of her arms lies draped across my chest, the other resting beneath her head. Her breathing slows as she drift off, but I fail to do the same. I lay awake in the silence, thinking about how lucky I am to be falling asleep beside the most beautiful girl in the world.
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Finals are hell, but I'm surviving. Two more till its officially summer!
Anyway, vote and tell me what you think! I love reading all your beautiful comments! They help me write faster when I know you guys are waiting!
I love you all!
Also, I have recently found a video I want you all to watch. Go on YouTube and search "To This Day" it's incredibly inspirational and everyone should see it. It's the one that starts off with pork chops!
Stay beautiful 💕
~ Hannah xxx
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