Crazy Stupid Love

Chapter 65: Oblivious Forgiveness

"Mar?" A distant voice calls.
"Mmmm?" I moan, yawning softly.
The voice doesn't reply, but I soon feel arms wrapping around me.
"Ratliff?" I ask groggily.
"Yeah, Sweetie, I'm right here," he replies gently.
"Where are we going?"
"Home," he murmurs. "You've been out here for hours."
I pretend to fall asleep midway to the house, forcing him to stop attempting a conversation. Talking is the last thing I wanna do right now.
"Goodnight," Ellington whispers as he lies me softly on my bed.
After covering me in blankets, he kisses my forehead and walks silently out of the room. As I stare at the wall, I hear faint noise carrying from downstairs. Minutes later, my door opens.
"Marriya," a deep voice asks. A feel a hand rest on my shoulder, nudging me slightly.
I keep my eyes trained on the wall, refusing to meet the gaze of the boy who is begging desperately for my attention.
"Go away, Ryland," I say quietly, no emotion sounding in my voice.
"Marriya, please talk to me," he begs.
"Leave. Please, Ry, just go," I order, my tone coming out a lot harder then I intend.
"Marriya, I know you don't want a friend right now, but that doesn't mean you don't have a friend that wants you," he replies gently.
"Ryland," I whimper, finally rolling over and allowing my eyes to meet his. "Please go."
"No. I won't go. I love you, Marriya. All of us do, and all of us are worried for you. You haven't eaten in days. You've left your room only once in the last two weeks, and you keep shutting out anyone who tried to care about you. Please, don't shut me out anymore."
"Don't take it personally. Shutting everyone out is my way of protecting myself."
"Well stop! Let us protect you! We love you and I promise we will never hurt you!"
"I've heard that before, Ryland. Look how well that turned out," I whisper.
"Okay, I'm sorry. I'll go," he replies softly.
"No. Stay. Please, stay with me," I murmur, suddenly terrified of the idea of being left alone.
Nodding his head, he stretches out beside me on the bed. I curl up to him, resting my head on his chest. He wraps his arm around my body and pulls me closer to him, pressing a soft kiss to the top of my head.
My eyes flutter shut as I fall into what seems like the first peaceful sleep in forever.

-

I wake to find myself alone in my bed, missing the warmth Ryland always emits. I snuggle deeper under the covers, wishing I could stay like this forever. Deep down, though, I know I need to talk to Ross. I promised Riker one conversation, and that's all he will get out of me.
Too soon, I peel myself out of bed and trudge into my closet. I pull on a pair of black leggings and blue hoodie. After tying my hair up in a messy bun and slipping on a pair of Vans, I make my way over to the Lynch's.
As Riker promised, no one is in the house. No one but Ross, as I can tell by the soft strumming of guitar carrying down from upstairs. He might not know I'm coming, but I don't care. I'm here, we're going to talk about this once, and its happening now.
I bang my fist twice against his bedroom door. Without waiting for his reply, I shove it open and storm in.
"Marriya," he breathes. I can see in his eyes the internal battle of whether or not he should get up and hug me.
He stands and takes a cautious step forward, but my ice cold glare puts him back in his place.
"Can I please explain myself?" he asks quietly.
"No, actually, I don't want to hear whatever excuse you've come up with. I saw what I saw, so it's time for you to sit the hell down and let me talk," I snap.
Nodding, he sits back down on the edge of the bed.
"Listen, Ross. If you're going to leave, that's fine. I know you promised you wouldn't a few months ago when I was crying in your arms, but I also knows that it rains when it's not supposed to and sometimes food orders get mixed up and we rip flowers from the ground just to watch them die. Things change, and I understand if you're moving on to that girl, but please, when you're taking back all of your old sweaters and CD's, don't forget to take all your midnight phone calls and pictures when we're smiling so wide it looks like we've never been happier and you hadn't decided to leave yet and I didn't know the ache in the pit of my stomach when the person I love most says 'I don't love you anymore'"
By the end I'm screaming; tears running rapidly down my cheeks.
His eyes glisten with sadness, but he says nothing. Again, he struggles with the mental battle of whether or not to make a move towards me.
Glancing over, I find his tattered spiral notebook in which he writes all of his songs. I bite down on my bottom lip to fight off the loud sob rapidly surfacing as I see it is open to "If I Can't Be With You."
"How can you write these words?" I demand, grabbing the book and hurtling it at his head. It misses by a narrow margin. "You say you feel these feelings, yet you give up on us so easily!"
"I didn't give up on us!" He cries.
"No. You ruined us," I seethe.
"Marriya-"
"You have no idea how worthless you made me feel!" I sob. "I actually thought you were different! That you would never hurt me!"
"So you hate me now?" He asks weakly, his tone dropping to a barely audible whisper.
"No. I don't hate you. I'm just disappointed you turned out to be everything you promised you'd never be," I reply quietly.
"Marriya!" He begs, tears streaming down his face. "Please believe me!"
"Ross-"
"It's only you. It's only ever been you."
"The sad thing is that I actually thought you were different. That you would be the first guy in my life not to hurt me," I say weakly.
"I am different from them, Mar! I would never hurt you!"
"Cause you totally proved that by making out with another girl!"
"Marriya, please believe me!"
"How many times did you lie to me, Ross?"
"Baby, I love you. I would never lie to you!" He pleads.
"No, you don't. The hardest part about realizing that is the fact you spent so much time pretending that you did."
"Marriya, please-"
"Save it!"
"Marriya, I promise-"
"I don't want to hear it!"
"Please just-"
"Do you only shut up when your mouth is full of slut tongue?" I scream in anger.
Without saying another word, I storm out of his bedroom. I charge down the stairs, Ross following desperately on my heels.
"I swear, Mar. I don't even know her!"
I meet his eyes, and immediately regret it because I see the pain surfacing from deep within them.
"Do you promise?" I croak.
"Yes," he replies immediately, stepping forward and clasping my hands in his own. "With all my heart."
"Okay," I whisper after a few moments. "I believe you. You've never given me a reason not to."
He says nothing, but pulls my body tight against his. It's hard to tell at this point which one of us is crying harder.
As he leans down to kiss me, we are interrupted by an abrupt knock at the door.
It swings open to reveal the girl from the coffee shop. The girl Ross promised he didn't know.
"Hey, Rossy," she giggles. "Long time no see, Baby!"

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Hey guys! I hope you're all enjoying these fast updates, I've just been inspired lately. Thank you all for all your support in this story. Your votes and comments mean the world to me.

All the love. Always.
~ Hannah xxx