A Mialotte Story: Good in a crisis

Clean slate

TW: Miscarriage

Charlotte had a key for Mia's apartment cut for Autumn so that she could let herself in, in case Mia was asleep or indisposed. Charlotte had popped in to check on Mia in the morning on her way to work and on her out, reminded her that it would be Autumn coming this evening as she had the children tonight.

As 5pm rolled around, Autumn packed up her things after a tough day at the nursery. She was sick and tired of having to answer to parents offering their condolences and unsolicited advice following her miscarriage. A constant reminder of what wouldn't be. Autumn got in her car and took a deep breath brushing off her day, before touching up her make up. She was pretty sure of herself and never really cared how people perceived her, but for some reason, she felt the need to impress Mia. Autumn believed she had something to prove to Mia, after surviving so much without her big sister by her side, it was almost as if she were seeking her approval. Not wanting to show a single flaw or sign of weakness.

Autumn arrived at Mia's using her key to let herself in. She didn't come empty handed, when there's Autumn, there's wine. She also picked up a tray of sushi assuming that Mia would need feeding. Winter was always the chef in their home and she liked it that way. It had been so long since Autumn had to cook for herself and she wasn't about to break the habit now.

There was no sign of Mia on the sofa where Autumn had expected to find her. She wandered to the kitchen to put down the wine and sushi, but again, no Mia. She wandered around the apartment searching for the redhead and as she reached the bathroom, she heard the water running. Autumn assumed Mia was taking a shower and thought it was best to make her aware of her arrival, so she knocked on the door. "Mia, it's Autumn, I'll wait in the living room for you."

"Autumn, wait!" Mia shouted from the bathroom. "Can you come in?" She continued quietly, sounding defeated. Autumn was puzzled by request, was this one of Mia's games? But something about the desperate tone in the redhead's voice told her she should go in. Autumn's face remained unchanged and her posture as still and graceful as ever, as she cautiously opened the door to see Mia sat on the bathroom floor.

She was naked and vulnerable, tightly hugging her legs that were pulled up to her chest in a vague attempt to preserve her modesty. Mia looked broken, her eyes pooling as she tried to hold back the tears so that Autumn wouldn't think she was weak. Mia felt embarrassed that Autumn had to see her like this, and she hated having to ask for help. "I just wanted to take a shower, but then I got dizzy and lost my balance" Mia explained, her voice only just above a whisper. Autumn kept her composure as Mia continued. "I just wanted to do something for myself. I wanted to do it by myself!" Mia cried out, as her frustration gradually evolved into sobs.

Autumn didn't say anything, everyone knew she was more likely to take action over using words. She rolled up her sleeves and lifted Mia, with ease, into the shower that had already been running. Completely unfazed by her naked state, Autumn wet Mia's hair lathering it with shampoo before running the loofa over her body. She was gentle in her movements which Mia found comforting, and her shaky sobs began to settle. This wasn't her finest moment, Mia hadn't expected her reunion with Autumn to be so intimate. If Charlotte had found her in this state, then the feeling of humiliation wouldn't have even crossed her.

After Autumn had helped Mia into the bedroom to dry off and get into some pyjamas, the two made their way to the sofa. The air was filled with a veil of tension, all their memories together and the years of separation daunting on them. Mia sat herself down as Autumn detoured through kitchen, returning with the sushi, wine and a couple of glasses. She poured herself a glass and as she began to pour another, Mia stopped her. "Oh, none for me thanks, trying to cut back on the drinking in light of recent events, you know?"

Mia decided to finally break the silence that had been hovering over the pair. "Autumn?" Mia tread carefully in her words, trying her best to sound sincere. Autumn took a sip of her wine then turned her attention to Mia as she continued, eager to hear what she had to say. "I'm sorry about the miscarriage...truly" Mia said placing her hand on Autumn's thigh.

Typically, Autumn wouldn't let anyone other than Winter touch her, with the exception of the hugs she embraced from her big brother and her dear friend as she grieved her unborn child. Physical contact made her uncomfortable. However, there was something warmly familiar about Mia's touch that brought her solace along with her words. It meant a lot to Autumn, knowing that her big sister cared.

Autumn half smiled with a nod in response, she knew Mia would understand that there was nothing left to say on the matter. She had already exhausted her feelings and was trying to move on, as difficult as it was. Mia and Autumn had progressed to eating their sushi to try and resume some normality, but as time passed, the two were finding it more difficult to converse. Too much pain and heartbreak had separated them over the years, so there was no place for light chit chat.

"How are you feeling? Autumn simply asked.
"Well, I thought I was fine...but maybe not." Mia had been independent from a young age, learning to look after herself and Autumn, and as the bond between them dissipated, Mia found herself alone for most of her life. She knew she had Reece, but she would never lean on him. It would only enhance the feeling of guilt that stemmed from using him all those years. "I'm sorry you had to see me like that, I should be the one looking after you" Mia mumbled as the shame crept in, reflecting on the many years she spent doing the exact opposite of caring for her figurative baby sister.

Mia looked down at her lap sheepishly, shaking her head as she said, "I think I've messed everything up Aut." Autumn hadn't heard Mia call her that in a long time, too long.
"Well, you have" Autumn paused letting Mia wallow in her accountability for a moment. "But, actions can more or less always be redeemed. It takes time and patience." Autumn was now referring to Charlotte, as she could sense there was more to what she had told everyone at the hospital. Despite the lifetime they'd spent apart, Autumn understood Mia, and knew that she wouldn't distance herself from Charlotte without reason. She suspected that Mia was feeling guilty about something, there was a persistent habit of wrongdoing as precedent. 

Mia looked up at Autumn, perplexed. Is this her way of saying she forgives me? The redhead thought to herself. Before Mia had a chance to respond, Autumn continued, "Mia" she sighed as she composed herself. "Don't expect me to sit here and open up about my feelings, but just because I'm a big girl now doesn't mean that I don't still need my big sister around. What happened, happened. Let's not talk of it again."

Mia smiled as a single tear fell. She hadn't realised how much she needed to hear Autumns forgiveness. Mia knew that she could never undo all the damage she caused to Autumn and Reece, but she could move forward with Autumn by her side. The two shared an empathetic moment, realising that this was the start of a new journey. Any milestones that were yet to come in Mia and Autumn's lives, they'd get to live through them, together.

"Charlotte on the other hand..." Autumn picked up where she left off after wiping the slate clean with Mia. "Well, I'm sure that's nothing a conversation can't fix, she clearly loves the bones of you. So stop wallowing and apologise for whatever you did already!"

Mia laughed at Autumn's rather direct comment, how could the younger be so much wiser than herself? She thought. Mia knew she shouldn't force Charlotte into talking before she was ready, but Autumn was right. Mia had been wallowing, the weight of the conversation with her sweetheart had been burdening her, and it was time to get it out. She had given Charlotte space, but now she was ready to apologise properly. Mia just had to hope it was enough.