All wishful thinking

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TW: Alcohol abuse

Charlotte felt like her whole world had just collapsed around her. When she went to cover at the sister nursery this morning, she didn't expect to be leaving with a Mia shaped hole in her chest. The idea of Mia kissing another woman made her seethe, but more than anything, it wounded.

Char was constantly being reminded that Mia was bad news. She typically just rolled her eyes at the remarks, knowing the brave, caring, and, loving person that hid behind her love's hard exterior. She understood that Mia's wall was built to protect her from all the pain she had endured, and Charlotte felt privileged to be the one to knock it down.

As Charlotte sat in her car violently sobbing, her head filled with images of Mia kissing another woman, she started to question everything. Had Mia kissed other women during their relationship and not told her? Did Mia have a secret life that she didn't know about? Was she the secret life, Mia's bit on the side? Was Mia ever capable of loving another person? Oh Charlotte.

Charlotte couldn't bring herself to ask Mia any of these questions in the moment, the pain was too fresh, but she secretly wished she'd heard Mia out in hopes that there was a reasonable explanation. It was too late now, it was over. Charlotte didn't think she'd find love again so soon after leaving her husband, and she gave everything to Mia. Countless hours of building trust and companionship, all wasted.

At least Charlotte had the comfort of knowing that she had never introduced Mia to her children. It pained her to think about how this would've affected them, learning to trust someone new and then having them ripped away. Charlotte would never wish that on them. Charlotte's girls were the only thing left that could bring a smile to her face, she wasn't due to have them tonight but she requested to swap days with her ex just so she could hold them close. She didn't want to be alone tonight.

Mia didn't want to be alone tonight either, but the only person she wanted to spend time with was Charlotte, and she had ceased all chances of that happening. After ruining everything with her beloved girlfriend, she turned to the one friend that she could always rely on. Alcohol. She stopped by the off licence on her way home, leaving with the biggest and most expensive bottle of whiskey that she could get her hands on.

Mia felt hollow and numb, so much to the point where it consumed her. She spent days holed up in her apartment in solitary, drowning her sorrows. At this point, Mia couldn't see a way forward. She was drinking excessively and isolating herself from everyone, although it wasn't hard to do so because no one ever checked in on her. Why would they?

As Mia settled herself in for the evening, cracking open her 3rd bottle of whiskey for the week, something irked her when she took a glance at her phone.

"Charlotte annual leave"

Mia was solemn as she stared at the calendar reminder on her phone, as she thought about how she planned to surprise her sweetheart with a long, romantic weekend away in a log cabin. Just the two of them with no distractions and nothing to entertain them other than each other's company and a hot tub.

That was enough to send Mia over the edge that night. She polished off the whole bottle of whiskey in just a few hours. The girl could drink. Even though she could barely hold herself up and her head was hazy, her thoughts remained the same. Memories of Charlotte replayed in her head, as she tried to remember how it felt to bear the warmth of her sweetheart's touch, to envelop her sweet scent, to savour the taste of her kisses. Mia wrapped her arms around herself tightly, trying to find comfort in her own embrace.

It was around 10pm, and Mia hoped Charlotte would still be awake. "I can't live without her anymore" she thought to herself. Her drunken state got the better of her and she stumbled out to her car. She had intended to go to Charlotte's to apologise for how she'd treated her. She had to explain that she didn't initiate the kiss and prayed that her love would take her back.

Mia never made it to Charlotte's house that night. Instead, Charlotte was woken up by a devastating phone call.

"Hello, am I speaking with a Miss Charlotte Hale?"
"Yes, speaking." Charlotte was anxious at the sound of her Government name. What could be so important at 10:57pm on a Friday evening?
"Hi Miss Hale, my name is Katrina, I'm calling from the county hospital. You were listed as next of kin for a Miss Amelia Roberts?"
Charlotte was shell shocked. Not only was she unaware that Mia had named Char as her next of kin, but she hadn't updated it yet either. Of course, it had only been a week since the two parted ways, and it was still fresh.

Charlotte immediately grew concerned. This last week had been torture for her, as she tried with all her might to forget about Mia. She spent hours trying to convince herself that the mean redhead was just that, and that she wasn't worth getting worked up about. But everything Charlotte did, reminded her of Mia.

When she would sit with Carly and have lunch, she'd reminisce about how mindful Mia had been when she cooked dinner that first night Carly came over or, about how Carly told her that Mia made sure she got breakfast before heading into work after her appointment and must've said something to Marjorie, because she didn't get in trouble for being late.

Any time Charlotte tucked the girls into bed, or sat and had dinner with them, she'd think about how many times she'd wished Mia had been there with them, and how she was ready to welcome her into the family. She always imagined the girls falling in love with the redhead, and fighting over who got to have Mia read them a bed time story. All wishful thinking. 

"Hello, Miss Hale? Are you still there?" Katrina nudged. Charlotte was trapped in her own thoughts and was starting to spiral into a panic. All she wanted, was for Mia to be okay.

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