The only boy I can't have

Eleanor

LUKE - I know you are
Sent 12:37 pm

First day of class and it was safe to say I am bricking it.

I'm studying psychology and don't get me wrong I am excited I'm just nervous. One thing about me is that I am constantly on the bridge of having a panic attack - I am a walking human shaped ball of nerves according to my mom. So my anxiety is hitting the roof today.

My first class was in the south building, looking down at my map my hands were shaking. My chest tightened and my head started whirling.
Oh fuck

No
No
No
Please not now

No
No
No
Ten things I can see
What not ten? 5
Get it together Eleanor
Fuck

I slumped down by the wall of the south building  and tried to remember what my therapist told me to do when I felt overwhelmed. Box breathing. In. Hold.out.nothing. In.hold.out.nothing again. In-

My breathing was interrupted. "Eleanor." A deep yet concerned voice said my name. They blocked the sun and for that I was greatful it made me feel less exposed.

In.hold.out.nothing again

"Eleanor it's me"

It's Luke.
It's fucking like Taylor.

************
AUTHORS NOTE
Basically because this part would be so short I want to just add Luke's part in this part for ease.

                               LUKE
Shit.

I was just on my way to practise and I came across Eleanor on the bridge of a mental breakdown. I'm so bad with feelings.
                                     
She ignored me when I called out her name continuing deep breathing "yep that's good keep doing that beautiful - in hold out nothing" I had been to a few therapists in my time so I am familiar with box breathing.

Some imbeciles past by and stop dead in there tracks to gawk at me and the poor girl freaking out in front of me "Fuck off!" I shouted at them and Eleanor winced.

I sat beside her unsure of what to do. She was shaking, her button nose scrunched and her cheeks bright red but the rest of her deathly pale. This wasn't good. I needed to Help her. She looked up at me with her delicate  green eyes filled with tears and worry.

Eleanor was the most precious thing I had ever seen.

I rubbed her back and that seemed to calm her down "shit - I'm gonna get Jacob okay?" i went to get up as Eleanor pulled at my jogger leg. She put her hands out signalling for me to pull her up.

She stumbled and I caught her. Mumbling her thanks she waked the grass of her butt and grabbed my forearm "no Jacob" she whispered.
There was no point arguing with her. She turned to walk away but I pulled her back and she fell into my chest, I wrapped my arms around her
Attempting to protect her from all her worries.

How could she just now be fine after all that?

"You don't have to go to your class - I can take you home and stay with you"

She looked down and didn't reply for a good 30 seconds but eventually she  shook her head "I have to do this. They just happen sometimes, thanks for helping me stop it"

"Beautiful you have got this ok. You can always talk to me I'm not good on advice but I'm good on listening - let me walk you in." She shook her head. " well I am whether you like it or not."

Arm in arm we waked towards the lecture hall.
I poked my head round the door scanning the room for anyone I knew.

Bingo - Ollie a member of the media team - a bit of a pain in the arse but they did some work for the hockey social media page last year and he on the whole seems to be a great guy. His "best friend" Mia was sat next to him - I'm pretty sure they are dating.

"Sit with them - tell them you know me and you will be fine" she nodded weakly. I tucked loose hair behind her ear.

God I loved that girl.

ELEANOR - Thank you x
Sent 1:02pm

AUTHORS NOTE
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